In the silence of my lonely room,
this room which now feels like a tomb,
I listen to the voice of doom
telling me it's all over now.
Lying naked in my bed,
thoughts of you running through my head,
thinking about the things you said
when we two were in love.
I picture how it used to be
when you were still in love with me,
we knew love's sweet ecstasy,
life was so good to us then.
Rapture found within your arms,
feeling secure and safe from harm,
seemed as if our life was charmed,
where did we go wrong?
The nights of joy we shared
were way beyond compare!
We were a perfect pair,
why did it have to end?
If I could somehow make amends,
if we could somehow still be friends,
if our story could have a happy end,
I would never let you go again!
Author notes
Written January 24th, 2002
In a list
A contest entry
- Memories... by Evilia.
300 points, ended January 22, 2005, 41 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 54 of 54
-
the words made me sad...is that not enough for a poem
-
Very Good Poem
A very nice skilful and romantic poem of unrequited love well rhymed and flows with well chosen imagery
very sad, pulls at the heartstrings.Good Poem! Liked reading it.May I reccomend(to cheer you up)poems of mine with happy endings" Peter's Girl" "Blue Eyes"
"The Twins"and "Hit And Run." Best wishes and Good Luck
George(JUDMC) U.K. -
i cant tell you how much i liked this poem its the best poem i have read so far and the most relative one to me great write keep going
-
Nice job, I like the rhyme scheme. Sometimes the hardest part of losing someone is remembering what you had. Great job. Thanks for entering.
-
Thank you, nightrydacandy!
Maureen
-
yes yes yes this was great! I wish you the best of luck in my contest!
-
Thanks, Lo. It did have a happy ending. It just took awhile.
Maureen
-
I really liked the structure of AAAB, it just sucks that it was so sad. No hope at the end. Now i think i need to read a happier poem before i go to bed. I really liked this though. Keep up the good work. Peace,
Lo
-
This is a beautiful and sad expression of a love lost. I loved the rhyming and it flowed effortlessly.
Great job,
xoxo forevermore -
Outstanding write.
A longing for an escape from pain...bare to her soul.
Just beautiful.
Sam
-
fantastic Maureen and I am glad it worked out for you hun,thats how I feel lately with Bob feeling safe and secure from harm.
loved reading it
-
Wow.
-
Stupendous is a very good word, Damon...I like it a lot!
Thank you! I'm happy that my poem inspired you to use that word.
Maureen
-
Truly stupendous write that you have here and the background is amazing they seem to go so well together. Is stupendous a word? Anyway, you know that I mean I like it alot.
Damon D. Brewer -
They say it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all but losing a loved one causes so much pain, I sometimes wonder if that's true! I'm sorry things didn't work out for you, Elyse. I always appreciate your comments..Thank You! :o) Maureen
-
Thank you, Windsong! I'm extremely grateful that love's flame was rekindled!
-
neutral
sweet, painful memories! you did a great job expressing all the pain that's left after the love is gone! -
Something good did come from this...I realized how important he was to me and how I couldn't live without him.
-
neutral
i am sure there is something good that can come
from this too... -
Thank you, Zinsser! Appreciate your visit! :o)
-
Beautiful..... well done
-
Thank you, Slekky and Lirial.
Lirial, comments like yours keep me writing! *sigh*
:-) Maureen -
The graphic was a good addittion ut the piece stands alone. This was asbloutely heartbreaking and beautiful. It flowed off the tounge like honey. Keep writting.
*~Lirial~* -
Mmmmm.....I know the feeling **sigh**
-
Thank you, TinasHeart and Aliana. So glad you liked it! :-) Maureen
-
Fantastic Maureen...... lots of memories in this one for me, your words are beautiful.
-
Oh this is so beautiful and yet sad. This is great writing. I enjoyed this. :) Tina
-
Thank you very much, Sprite. Thanks for the stars and thanks for stopping by again! :-) Maureen
-
Came back to read it again, and if I did that then you deserve stars!
-
Thank you, David. I was able to make amends, I'm happy to say. Hope your story has a happy ending someday! :-) Maureen
-
i haven't read you in a long time...i like the way this feels (but then, i'm in the mood for something sad)
i hope you get your happy ending. -
Thank you, AngelEyes. I really appreciate your visit and comment. :-) Maureen
-
Graphics, words, concept...together made a beautiful poem!!!
-
Thanks, introubleintx! I appreciate your comments! :-) Maureen
-
Thank you, Chris and HJ. Chris, I'm so glad you liked the graphic...and mentioned it! :-) Maureen
-
I too, liked the style..Something I might want to try! I understand what it is like to love someone with all of your being, it engulfs you in a way nothing else can. Great write! :)
-
Amazing style to this... loved it!
-
I LOVE THE GRAPHIC MAUREEN !!! Great addition!!!!
-
Thanks to all who commented. Tommy, this is not the way things currently are in my life but there was a time when I experienced these emotions...a very bad time in my life. Thank God I was able to make amends!
-
Hi Maureen,
Great style! A very well layed out poem. It's kind of sad though. I hope this is not where you are at now. If so, hang in there and have faith. Things get better if you do. :0) Good poem Maureen! Tommy -
this is such a beautiful...yes sad write..... I feel this piece.....sighs.....wonderfully said maureen:o)
Hugs
Jenn -
The last lines:
If I could somehow make amends,
If we could somehow still be friends,
If our story could have a happy end,
I would never let you go again!
speak volumes .... memories of better days are always tinged with what if ..... brilliant write
Andy -
angst + love combined in two. that's very well done here.
-
so sad...yet beautiful,
you have a great way of expression
i felt this my friend
....thankyou
-ashley -
Yes, different from what you usually write about, but the writing and content are excellent as always. m
-
Maureen! I really like the style you have chosen for this one! The flow is great and easy on the tongue! Beautifully done dear!
The topic is very sad and you made me feel the heartache in your words! Good poetry will do that! -
you poetry is fabulous.
-
Yeah I also think this is a different style of writing from you.. but who am I to even say..
I'm really naive on the topic of love, but this is still affecting me coz theres a feeling of achiness (if thats even a word) from the heart.
I read a poem that's about love, and its really sweet, and so awfully desirable...
but then I also read so many that are full of heartache and pain....
Anyway!.. :) -
wow this is so sad yet so sweet and beautiful!
-
i know where you come from on this subject.
-
Oh this is sad ... missing something from the past that just won't surface anymore hurts ... heartfelt poem with ache ...
thanks Maureen for this emotional write ...
chris -
People are so often lost to us while we walk wakefully alseep to circumstances or our own feelings. Too late the palm is opened...only in time to recieve the grief.
-
I truly enjoyed this one Maureen. Nice easy flow.
Soulful message
Sammy -
I like this style you choose. Very different. Well written, my friend.
Adding your comment:
1 - 54 of 54
