the moon waits still
in a bow of sky
white pear atop a crate
of damson plums
damp with evening
morning starts
to burn
at eastern edges
quiet enough
for god to recall
the sound life makes
with no one else around
Author notes
"Anyone who ever dreamed could look at me
And know I dream of you"
-Hal David
A contest entry
- The Look of Love by NurseChilly.
1000 points, ended November 10, 2007, 9 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 40 of 40
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Beautiful poem!
Lovely imagery and so delicately phrased. Love the image of
white pear atop a crate
of damson plums
I like the way you portrayed silence and stillness in this piece along with God's reaction to it. Wonderful read.
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quiet enough enough to enjoy
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wonderful
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Yes this was very very beautiful!
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That is beautiful, AJ. I love it.
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beautiful... perfect ending... I love the very proper and old fashioned language/eloquence that I have been reading in your work recently...
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Y only Bronze?
deep flow
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Ah. I remember this. Congrats on the shiny.
Lisa -
so pretty this.. beautiful, beautiful...
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now it's my turn to say ... how did I miss this...
the way this is worded... yes... it's definitely all there without being there....
and those last four lines.. well the last seven... well all of them actually...
beautiful...
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So clever - the way you painted through contrast. This is like a negative, it is everything around 'a thing' that, itself, emerges in the process of developing. I think I want to try that sometime soon.
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I love several versions of that song Al... they can all tear me apart...
damn, this is good.. it's got that edge and grit and burning belly hole.. that sets afire, when you hear something, say something, do something to remind us, you, me of that look of love..
yes..
damn this is good
many thanks for entering this contest
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This is a really nice piece of writing. the moon has been described about a gizillion times propbably few nicer ways than this
white pear atop a crate of damson plums
Good work
david
PS a small point of reference - Anyone who had a heart was written by Hal David. The music to that song was written by BB.
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You are so right, as are many of BB tunes... As a son of a Dionne Warwick fan that is quite the oversight, thanks the proper credit will be assigned..
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Museum
I don't read often, but every since I stumbled upon your work, I have enjoyed it. Every word is carefully chosen for it's fragrance, taste and impact. Walking through your expression is like walking through a museum, each meaning illuminated by careful lighting.
Nice work.
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Lovely
This is excellant!! I enjoy a minimalist view. Difficult work to accomplish, but well worht the effort
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I especially love lines 9,10 and 11 and the quote from Bacharach too. Beautiful Sir as always... Cheers! R
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simply exquisite
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damson/plums/damp - nice.
Such a very, very quiet poem this is, for sure.
Good luck in the contest. Lisa
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this title is one of my favorites by you- was there a bill murray movie named this? probably not.. but i think it reminds me of that..
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that was "lost in translation", but i am thinking of naming my next one "Where the Buffalo Roam"...lol
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or caddyshack- you could name your next one caddyshack
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hmmm... caddyshack, you may be right
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"damp with evening
morning starts
to burn at eastern edges"
WOWOWOW. This is pure brilliance.
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I love that sound, and you've served it very nicely on a golden platter for me here.
Best wishes in the contest.
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'white pear
atop a crate
of damson plums'
i feel the moon within this
what a way...
im left so impressed with that
never would i have thought...
though maybe it is just a pear on a
pile of plums and i am a dorkus
damson though... that is the word that left me with the bruise - not the bad kind of bruise...
but that good bruise you get when you miss someone
because when we miss someone or think of them in those quiet moments... we know love...
in the quiet times of thought
i feel bruised for him
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As always your every word is in a perfect place.
Your poem is echoing through my head like a perfect
little berry that I can taste over and over again.
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I adore this poem Al
I have been gone from this site for a long time and avoiding
online rabbitholes, to be more in my other life!
And yet, missed, here, so to come back and drop into your poems,
that leave so much room for that other world,
in the silences and spaces,
I so appreciate your spareness, concise
lets the moon shine
This is terrific
quiet enough for
god to recall
I am often up at dawn
and this poem sings to me of those moments
with no one else stirring
but
the stars and lone rooster in the distance
maybe
moon
kat -
beautiful
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Word. Loving the Bacharach quote.
-C -
your work is always worth waiting for~ sigh.
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Builds so gently and ... kicks at the end so very well, just ... so carefully.
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breathtaking poetry-
just lovely
m
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I wanted just to say 'wow' as I released the breath I held from the first stanza, but that wouldn't do , would it.
There are poems and there is poetry. This is the latter.
Bookmarked.
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wow.
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Beautiful write. I love the ending. It makes me think of that saying, if a tree falls in the forest and no-one is around to hear it, if it still makes a sound. This seemed to have a nice feeling of nature and a spirituality to it. Best of luck in the contest.
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I too want this quiet, this feeling of peace that comes with knowing and feeling love... indeed the look of love this is. Beautiful poetry, Al.
~ Nicolette
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You make me want that quiet.
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