“Guilt doesn’t exist. I have no home.” Nietzsche looks back from the abyss and laughs.
He murdered the whole world when he told a lie,
“God is dead, refuse the light in the sky.”
His chaos soul exploits words to conceal
the overman himself, devil’s spaded deal.
“Did you hear?” the angels cry.
The entire world is burning, dying.
Take a stroll through the asylum.
Everything holds still to guess.
Puffing, pausing, and thinking less.
Hail to the propaganda King.
A woman must not like to like you.
The simple truth, a double lie too.
Wash your hands, religious man.
Eternal sham, I know your plan,
the hierarchy of value.
Book intrepreted into power not truth-true;
Hook etched like a myth in the senses-youth-you.
A “dancing” God is bored with my poem-end.
Oh, and the truth is in a pen.
I like the color blue.
Author notes
Published in Incantations in Blue
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 20 of 20
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I liked this a lot. It kinda stunned me a little bit.
Just like....wow!
Thanks for entering and best of luck
xoxo. -
I love that first line.
His chaos soul exploits words to conceal
perhaps chaotic would be more appropriate?
A woman must not like to like you.
This made me stumble. You had me going on a rollercoaster with the rhyme, when this halted me dead center..
A woman must not like to love you...?
Some suggestions.
I cant seem to nail down a definite emotion here, or decide just what it is you're talking about. The rhyme certainly works, and I get that the last stanza is supposed to be kind of playful-but in the end, Im just as confused as the previous commenters.
Still, it was an entertaining write.
Love,
jin
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I love blue, a most awesome write!
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HA! i love it!
A “dancing” God is bored with my poem-end.
Oh, and the truth is in a pen.
I like the color blue.
just grand.
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True blue as the skyies but Why lie? Your poem is great but dont count me down in my haste. Inspires many, write more I say and many will come to comment from even far away at the wonder of the words you saunder. Lol , Im a poet and a artist and I like to rattle! Ha! Ha! The illusion of angels in question is great as devine beings over seeing us humans you perceive.
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well written
you've got a lot of tallent -
i especially love the opening, as well as the rhyming in the last stanza, great write!
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When I was reading this, I thought...it sounds like its addressing someone Neitzhe (sp) and then I looked down in the notes and I was right. I feel smart. :-)
The opening made me think it first, it just fits:
He slayed the whole world when he told a lie,
"God is dead, refuse the light in the sky."
The whole "god is dead" thing, and then how you call him the 'propaganda king" I like the way you worded this.
Only thing I don't get- the last line. What does the color blue have to do with anything? That just seemed kind of randmom to me. But I don't know all that much about philosophy except the little overview of it I got in college as an English major, so I don't know if I'm missing something there.
Either way, great poem! I love poems that are 'smart' and make you think.... -
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I decided to end it with a calm kind of humorous note and to encourage others to write.
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Thus Spoke Cover Fire Hero
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only one problem:
"Did you hear?" the angel's cry.
perhaps it should be "angels'"
thoughts:
this piece could use a little
work as some parts of rhyme
was stressed. i suggest
internal rhyme would have
been better suited for this
piece.
overall, there were parts
that i really enjoyed.
"Guilt doesn't exist. I have no home."
He look backs from the abyss and laughs.a very great opening!
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this is an intresting poem, it make not one lick of sence to me. i like the titlw though and that it is the very last line, it make it not as totaly random as the poem seams to me. i lik ethe third stanza and the imagry it brings though i dont get what the propaganda king is so in a way the last line of the stanza ruins the rest for me. it has a great flow to it.
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you did a powe4rful immagry here amalgamating the love,life and its truth in each other... love this wonderful piece.... my friend...
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Interesting piece. I think in the 4th stanza you meant "woman" in the singular... because you say a women...or you could change it to women and leave out the definate article A. Thank you for the entry.
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Typo
Thanks.
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I find this piece very interesting, there are so many theories on which I developed on first read as to what it is about but I'll save that for another time. I like the pacing in this poem, while the rhyme is a bit strained in certain parts, its pretty clear and it adds to the obscurity of this piece. I feel like I should sit here and analyze it for hours or something I love that about it. I'd really like to know your ideas behind this but that's totally for you to know and you to know only if you wish =D Great work, thanks for your entry and best of luck in the contest!
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It's about Friedrich Nietzche.
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I did find the rhyme and flow to be somewhat okay. In places it's bumpy. and ...
I must admit I am confused
the last stanza is a puzzlement for me. The entire thing confuses me really but thank you for your entry.
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A good and intriguing piece, but what form is this?
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Bruce Lee Poetry - No Form Be Like Water
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