Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

Surrender...

Missing image

Moments of tranquility around me as I lay on my bed.

My mind wandering through a nether world;

don't know where I am, nor where I'm headed.

I do know my body is in search of something...

 

Feelings of solitude, peace, interlaced with feelings,

of love, desire, wants; confusion sets in,

all the while a sense of floating above,

beyond my surroundings.

Unexpectedly, a burst of light overwhelms my room;

it wasn't bright, but soft, soothing, warm.

I felt an indescribable urge to seek, feel it close to me.

 

I lay peacefully, unexpectedly, I felt it.

Delicate touches throughout my body, transcending me

beyond my prior experiences.

Flickers, teasing kisses, whispers, caresses...

Breasts erect, full, taking all they could.

Legs -against my will- now spreading, waiting,

expecting with angst; love bean ready to explode.

A feeling of weakness, -faint like-, possessed me, yet,

I wanted, expected, my being ready to surrender.

Then, a penetration of fire, brazen, strong, possessive-

he loved me with love, lust, passion-  yet, at the same time

all was so tender, soft. 

 

We danced in the air, -ecstasy, held in togetherness.

Suddenly, in amorous manner -careful not to break me-

he laid me on my bed, again.

Our eyes met, his so black, deep, penetrating;

tenderly he closed mine, whispered he'd be back.

The light was gone and so was he.

I can't remember how long I'd slept-

When I awoke, a moment of tranquility took over me.

Then, I remembered -but throughout my confusion,

I didn't understand if a reality, or merely a dream...

Convinced all a dream, I rose from my bed; 

when I found a silver feather laying on my pillow.

A feather belonging to my ethereal lover. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author notes

**

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • bloodstainedsatin
    March 8, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    ooooh...shivers...I love this, great write.... Good luck in the contest.


  • PrabhuDayal Khattar silver member
    November 11, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    when I found a silver feather laying on my pillow.
    A feather belonging to my ethereal lover.

    Indeed an exquisite poetry is here..well done..thanks for the mystic verse in this contest...




  • sapphireangelwings
    November 1, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Intoxicating, sweet, emotionally charged almost as much as it was physically! Loved this piece and the way you spun the " dance." beautifully done!


  • dustookie2
    October 31, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I have a vivid vision of how the Son of God was created from your words. The visitation of the spirit never touched by man and look at that result of such a blissful union. You have great imagery as you paint the picture in my head of what it must be like to have sexual intercourse with an angelic being. The bliss and pleasure flows in the expressive descriptive emotion. Thank you. Good luck in the contest.


  • fleur de lys
    October 29, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I enjoyed your exquisite poetry. It set my imagination into play and I loved every moment. Best of luck in the contest and God bless you.


  • Blueskywonder
    October 28, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    A soft warming piece, beautifully expressed!

    Elegant union expressed in a most wnderful way.

    Well done... thankyou for sharing such beautiful thoughts with us.


  • B Chandler
    October 28, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    For this to be your second time writing in confessional style poetry Mom, you really knew where to go in drawing in that perfect essence to call your own. The only suggestion I can lend is to separate in a couple of places. (Note edited version is in bold with parenthesis acting at spaces)

    Moments of tranquility around me as I lay on my bed.
    My mind wandering through a nether world;
    don't know where I am, nor where I'm headed.
    I do know my body is in search of something...

    (space)

    Feelings of solitude, peace, interlaced with feelings,
    of love, desire, wants; confusion sets in,
    all the while a sense of floating above,
    beyond my surroundings.
    Unexpectedly, a burst of light overwhelms my room;
    it wasn't bright, but soft, soothing, warm.
    I felt an indescribable urge to seek, feel it close to me.

    (space)

    I lay peacefully, unexpectedly, I felt it.
    Delicate touches throughout my body, transcending me
    beyond my prior experiences.
    Flickers, teasing kisses, whispers, caresses...
    Breasts erect, full, taking all they could.
    Legs -against my will- now spreading, waiting,
    expecting with angst; love bean ready to explode.
    A feeling of weakness, -faint like-, possessed me, yet,
    I wanted, expected, my being ready to surrender.
    Then, a penetration of fire, brazen, strong, possessive-
    he loved me with love, lust, passion- yet, at the same time
    all was so tender, soft.

    (space)

    We danced in the air, -ecstasy, held in togetherness.
    Suddenly, in amorous manner -careful not to break me-
    he laid me on my bed, again.
    Our eyes met, his so black, deep, penetrating;
    tenderly he closed mine, whispered he'd be back.
    The light was gone and so was he.
    I can't remember how long I'd slept-
    When I awoke, a moment of tranquility took over me.
    Then, I remembered -but throughout my confusion,
    I didn't understand if a reality, or merely a dream...
    Convinced all a dream, I rose from my bed;
    when I found a silver feather laying on my pillow.
    A feather belonging to my ethereal lover.

    But nevertheless, kudos on the imagery


  • Swtpoetryman
    October 28, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    A BEAUTIFUL PIECE, INDEED!

    A very spiritual, sweet, and sensual piece - to say the least! GOOD LUCK in the contest with it and Thank You SO MUCH for sharing this one with me on a Sunday evening that hopefully will have me sleeping like a baby tonight - as I don't often do on a Sunday - as I think too much about what I have to do on Monday and how early that I have to get up to go to work. This was an exquisitely written piece filled with heartfelt and soulful emotions.
    Peace & Love!
    Earl.


  • Marctheman
    October 28, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    wow, that's some poem my friend, making love with someone bigger then us, how attractive is that, i love the way you start very soft, get a little intense in the middle, but at the end again very soft, i love the last two lines really some it up for me.  just my personal opinion, a poem like that i would not put it in the contest, because if for some strange reason you don't win then you need to be upset about it, but at the same time this poem is already a winner.

1 - 9 of 9