The sisters were lovely, sweet and smart.
Each in their time had taken her part
To care and be cared for
To listen and speak
To stay and to travel,
Loud or meek,
Breaking and fixing and picking up pieces,
Watching the lives of nephews and nieces.
Some liked to sing and some to play
To roam in the night and dance in the day.
Some dancing, some playing piano and flutes
Tuning their cellos and fiddles and lutes.
Some waxing the floor for the dancing that night
Preparing refreshments with careful delight.
Some sat with a notebook, correcting the spelling,
And laughing at stories that young men were telling.
Will they marry these men? It's an unfinished story.
Will they marry at all? Will their children grow tall?
Will they live by themselves or in a big house?
As nuns or as housewives, lawyers or queens?
Strike up the band, let their lives begin.
Their stories are starting, the laughter and tears.
Check back with me in another ten years.
Author notes
The dance continues and some of us write poetry and correct the spelling.
A contest entry
- Prewrites by Myjoy.
1000 points, ended November 16, 2007, 43 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Under The Bridge by polly filla.
300 points, ended March 12, 2008, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - MAKE IT UP !! (prewrites allowed) (i bet this is the easiest one around ) by Alex Hex.
300 points, ended May 2, 2008, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Fairy tales and Fantasies! by Doll Faise.
700 points, ended August 11, 2008, 28 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
How does this make you feel
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Great write. At the end, the rhyming got a bit edgy but overall, I liked the poem. I can picture it clearly in my mind. Thanks for entering and good luck!
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Guilty (Everybody's guilty)
Those seem like some busy girls.
I like it, it keeps a fast pace, I would think that piece could be lengthened to a short story.
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wow, interesting how happy they must be to live there lives together and marry and all?
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Ah, a delightful entry into this contest, enjoyable! I like the rhymes and rhythm. Wonderful use of assonnce. Good imagery. Nice open-endedness at the end.
Charishma -
Hm. Interesting. I'm going to have to come back and read this one again. However my first impressions are of beautifully done rhyming, not in the least forced. I like the concept. However, it gets a little awkward around the last two verses, like maybe you felt the natural end after the first two verses and then forced yourself on
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Oh wonderful!!!! I love this. Well done, it is just ah a look back in time and I love that about this kind of read. Good luck.
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this is so beautiful=] its like a dollhouse perspective of real life..i love how the end gets really upbeat like 'strike up the band, let their lives begin'. great work :]]
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