Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

In a Moment

Sights and sounds, senses surround
A maze of delights set out to entice
You among there midst reaching out for
Whatever you wanted but you stretched too far
Beyond forgivness, beyond the hearts of human kind
You sold yourself for a cause that is not your own
You left yourself no escape from eternal damnation
Now you sit here looking at me
I can feel the strength of your ability
Your talent for hatred

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • Miss Chievous
    November 26, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    That was great! The rhyme was wonderful!

    Thanks For Entering!


  • Ryno
    November 22, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    not feeling it
    ~prewrites, come and get them


  • trekkergirl
    November 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is a very nicely written little poem.  Congrats on the trophies it is well deserved.  And thanks for sharing this with us and thanks for entering it into my contest


  • echo-ink
    October 17, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    You have portrayed hatred wonderfully, you did a good job with this, YAY!

    Love, Bell


  • SmokinHotWhiteTiger
    October 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Thank You 4 Entering our Contest Project Un-Cliche

    hello there I am a judge for the contest mentioned above and I felt this write was quite powerful with your raw burning hateed throughnout this write. its not ery descriptive but give soff just enough to draw the reader in. any ways short n sweetly penned and I liked the over all quality to the piece. any ways a good write and keep up the good work. Good luck in the contest(s)


  • HereComesTheSun
    August 8, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    great poem, one of the best iv read had a great take great job


  • Amunet Wolfbane Moderators member
    April 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I think hatred is a talent indeed. One we can do without, but one none-the-less. Great flow to this piece, it is a little preachy in parts, but very good.


  • grannyeri gold member
    March 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Liked the strong sentiments you have expressed so well in these lines -liked the flow and the rhythm that goes through here. Good alliteration as well.


  • tony yates silver member
    March 24, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    powerful

    i liked this poem, the last three lines are brilliant, thanks/good luck

1 - 9 of 9