No,
you can’t leave
this paradise they wish for,
then detest once attained.
My chest aches
at an approximate proximity
of that prison they call a heart.
I have but you
to guide my hand
and glow a light
at your finger’s edge.
From my pit, you pulled
me up from hell’s lair
and slapped me in the face
and punched my arm,
hard,
brutally,
and you pulled me out.
Now,
like dust
into a vacuum
you’re erasing yourself.
Slowly, but surely, fading away.
Bit by bit, goodbye, dear friend.
I wish I could say I knew you well.
Comments
-
very powerful write, I just loved it! I hope you don't mind I added you lika a fave ^^ great job
-
No offense or anything, but when I read the first two lines "No,
you can’t leave" I was kind of like ohh, one of THOSE poems? one that's all emotion and no restraint and poetic devices? but then i was like, wait Megan, it's rooibos, she always writes such great things, so I kept reading. And I'm glad I did. After those two lines, my vew completely changed, starting with the next lines "this paradise they wish for,
then detest once attained".
I also love lines like "I have but you
to guide my hand
and glow a light
at your finger’s edge" and the last line is just so great and tragic, fueled by emotion yet by a sense of detachment from the situation at the same time, it seems to me.
Love it!!
-
-
If I'm honest, when I wrote it, I thought "hmph, wait Michelle, you're sounding like a whiny little girl", then thought what the hell, just get on with it. It's not even written about a friend, before someone else asks, but you're right, the start is terrible, but I dunno how to change it. So for now, it stays.
-
-
Michelle, I dunno what this is about but I want you to know something, no matter where the trail of life takes me, I will always be there for you. I promise you that. and I am a man of my word which I have proved to you before. I will always be here for you. I dunno what I would do without you. I love you Michelle.
Justin
Adding your comment:
