Death came calling,
laying down the mantel of summer
to quilt cooling grass
in auburn splendour.
How dawn struggles to break
from horizons hold,
throwing promises that freeze and break
before they are fulfilled,
and in each rustle is heard
voices, pleading for mercy
from deaf seasons.
Author notes
Picture Prompt
In a list
A contest entry
- Sunday Morning Quickiness ..10/50w/30 by poet2angels.
475 points, ended October 28, 2007, 10 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Submissions for Poetry Magazine. by Norman Crabtree.
745 points, ended November 11, 2007, 41 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - 75 Words Or Less (Short Poetry - Show Me What You've Got) by xxRainbowDawnxx.
450 points, ended November 25, 2007, 46 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - AP Book Contest: Get Published! (Last Chance!) by tinuelena.
1200 points, ended December 12, 2007, 53 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - rockerchkpoet's DFI Rounds Contest ~~~ Round 1 - Dress to Impress by And Hyetal.
600 points, ended January 17, 2008, 30 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
-
The imagery you put into this poem warmed me. But yet, I still feel the sadness that was put inside of this. I love the way this poem flows.
Thank you for entering my contest and good luck.
Always,
Cassie
-
My only suggestion for this is adding one article. "Laying down *the* mantle of summer" sounds much more articulate and well-phrased.
Other than that, this is a gem. I love the whole idea of "deaf seasons." It's an idea to wrap your head around and mull over, and in your concise delivery, you allow the reader their "think-space."
Thanks for the entry; I'm looking forward to having this in the book!
Elizabeth -
-
Have edited and gone with your suggestion. It does read better for the addition.
-
-
I found this both sad and relaxing. The words just flowed lovingly together. The idea of one thing dying and another one begining is all about the circle of life. I love summer, but I also love autumn, for we need the water.
-
Thank you for entering my contest!
This is short & concise so it sums up the voice of the poem in a really neat & tidy way.
Good luck in the future. -
This is amazing...I love every line and especially the emotion that flows from your every word...WOW. I am in awe
Lynda
-
unhearing it seems as nature rolls on a path of cycles such vivid descriptions and creative point of view here, so very well done...PK
-
A different and very good take on the picture, love the depth of this
-
prompt is:
"Whoso loves, believes the impossible."
Elizabeth Barrett Browning
or
the pic above...
Adding your comment:
1 - 9 of 9
