What is this ?
It's much too bright
swirling colors have me affright
the answer impending
my wall is melting
the furniture bending
a curious adventure I will not be forgetting
Little creatures begin to spawn
funny how we all get along
babbling and singing is where went the time
I love this friendly state of mind
The feeling now weary
I miss my friends dearly
now back to the world where I see things so clearly
Oh sweet truffles
please hurry , and grow
I'm dying for an adventure to flow
where ever you take me I'll happily go
just far from this world
that's so unbearably slow.
Author notes
whoa ! ha !
What is your first impression ?
Comments
1 - 32 of 32
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i love the background!!!
and the poem too. but mainly the background. -
Trippy
Rena thanks for the warning. I love this poem. Pass me the magic bronies lol. I love the imagery that you portray in this poem. Awesome write my friend. -
crazy
"I'm dying for an adventure to flow
where ever you take me I'll happily go
just far from this world
that's so unbearably slow."
this is my favorite part.. I felt it on the inside when I read it, This is how I feel...
The Background is CRAZY, I love it.. Hypnotic like.. :-)..Colors makin my eyes go whoohooo..
Good job
*Kelsi*
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luv ur poem...and ur background!
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Well I am glad the warning was up on this awesome background.. very psychedelic..
As for your poem
Gave so much, love the last stanza
best wishes Julie
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Amazing
I like when you put "Now back to the world where I see things clearly" because when you get on this page you can hardly see... haha... which makes your poem fit in with the background even more.
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I would had commented sooner but I was having a Gran Mal seizure from looking at this colorful fractal background! Killer poetry Sugarblade!
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Can you say Acid Trip?
Hah reminds me of a trip I once took. The little creatures you describe hah thats perfect. Pretty interesting for a person first piece. The rhyme is good and the story is entertaining. I like it and its background image. They definently compliment eachother. Very well done ~peace =]
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Good
I really like the last verse, especially the last two lines. -
So, is this about lonesomeness, or eating mushrooms?
Rhyme and structure make this flow so nice I think I was half ass smiling reading it aloud but sayingthe words.
"...is where went the time", ok, that is just th same as "Do believe my words true"
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great write. a little hard to read at some points, but other wise the poem was right there in front of me...I swear, the walls started to move!!! great job.
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Awesome! I absoultly love this!!! It was a plesure to read, and the background gave it a nice setting for your topic of choice as well. I've never triped so hard I've seen anything that out there myself but I'd imagine that if I did I probably wouldn't be comeing down for some time. Anyways I love your poem and know the feeling all too well. Maybe a little too well in fact. But I loved it. Great job.
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nice
love the background. and the poem. overall fantasmic.
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Great
Dats reali gud...
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Excellent.
Not mush room for imagination in the world...
well written.
Cheers.
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This piece reminds me of my days on L.S.D, lol, as wierd as it sounds.
IT's a good piece, and excellantly written.
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Oh sweet truffle, yes, the tiredness trul set in their. Humour I see is added to your paramount worths of character. Veru honoured to know you. And yuo'll not die with this one, it's too, erm bright to retire like! Like the wit!
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well done!!
good job! =] -
wow it hurt so much to read this what with the backround and all, but I couldn't look away! this is awesome...I want some truffles
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i have no idea lol but i love it the way it just speakes to me
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right on don't forget to take me on your magikal ride lol I love this !!!!!!!!!1
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HEHE this is cool...lol. nice job!
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my first impression!!! This is nuts, my eyes hurt and (the warning only makes oyu want to see whats so bad about the background!!!) You trickster you!!
Nice poem, quirky and upbeat.
good stuff!!
lexy xx
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WOW!
This is very good and bright
...grabs you and holds you tight...It has a snappy little beat to it
Thanks for sharing
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Brilliance......
My Daughter,,, you have made a memorable mark with this one. Stunning attention grabber to start with and then followed through with a remarkable write. I am more than pleased with this one. Big's for this.
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awwwww
You're really good Sis. I love this poem Sis. Awesome job with this. This is really really good. Keep up the excellent work. *hugs*
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What is this ,
(its=it’s) much too bright ,
swirling colors have me affright ,
oh sweet truffles ,
please hurry ,(space needed)and grow ,
(I'm why is this the only I capitalised?) dying for an adventure to flow ,
where ever you take me (ill=i’ll) happily go ,
just far from this world ,
(thats=that’s) so unbearably slow.
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ha !
ok well to be fair those arent mispelled words thats improper punctuation
dont mind me im such a smart ass lol
ok well ty and its just my way
but i appreciate it !! *HUG*
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haha, this has so much potential... but make spellcheck your friend! - I use microsoft's.
Great natural flow, by the way. -
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ummmm
what did i spell wrong ? ty for the comment though
always a good thing
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wouldn't we all just like them to be on hand whenever we want?! this is splendid!!! an adventure sounds wonderful right now!
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LINE BREAK!!!!
Yay for line breaks. I'm honestly confused by the title, but i totally dig the imagery like a 6 foot hole. I like a lot.
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