want, privation, struggle –
familiar faces, relentless companions
long known and unfeared
desert landscapes
unfurl daybloom of the soul
beneath heaven’s eye;
boundless privacy for heart-hymn
visions
self-knowledge
power
to recognize oneness
pulsed by each
hawk, lizard,
vessel of life
a people
a tribe
a heritage -
tongues with a dozen words
for sun, wind, water
voices that chant the old prayers
histories, legends
ever fewer
‘round the dwindling circle
many of the younger generation
become
for themselves
abandon birthright
faith
obligation of community
back away
from cleansing sage smoke
and sweat lodge
eyes sidle, chins follow
fast-paced thrumming
siren song
of an alien culture
that fears stillness
shuns sacrifice
hates their own flesh
an acquisitive society
that laps up lives
enthrones greed
mocks, lifts up the heel
at ancient language,
traditions, wisdom;
watching through the subsiding flames
the old ones
weep
A contest entry
- Mystic Tears by Everwind Rising.
1100 points, ended November 4, 2007, 11 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
Excellent write!
So sad. We loose so much everyday...it is nice to pay a tribute...and to remember.
Write on!
*PEACE*
-
Excellent. This is very original and deep with emotion and commentary. There is a profound sense of losing something of immence value expressed in this piece. The end of the poem packs a punch.
Your structure is wonderfully designed. It is immediately compelling, then beautiful, then powerful in it's message, transitioning smoothly in each phase up to the final climactic end line. -
-
Thank you so much, Everwind Rising, for your comment. I am so grateful you received and understood the meaning I was trying to communicate. It is an immense loss pending, and closing in with the passage of time.
-
Adding your comment:
