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You're gone, I'm dead

You went away,
still can't believe it,
upon my grave
you shall reprieve it

You left me here
though you knew I loved you
you made it clear:
can't be this 'me and you'

Now you say you miss me
I just feel like I'm dead
remembering how you kissed me
every moment in my head

I don't know how to fly
you took my wings away
when I breathe air's dry
Wish you could just stay

My heartbeat's going lower
your face's haunting my dreams
until the day no longer
I could dream or breathe

I feel the Darkness raping
the blood out of my veins
Silence only waiting
to watch upon these stains

Author notes

4. Heartbreak and betrayal

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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Comments


  • Immortal Obscurity Greeters member
    April 9, 2008

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    Wow... The last stanza was a lot stronger than the rest of the poem, which is exactly the impression you want to leave with your reader... However, the rest didn't really hit me that hard... Perhaps because I'm not a self-harmer, and I really couldn't relate to it on a personal level. I do, however, applaud you for your well-executed rhyme... Well done, and good luck!

    Laura xxx


  • Elenaliz
    February 29, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    i think this is really good it has a really nice flow to it.i really like these lines,
    can't be this 'me and you'I don't know how to fly
    you took my wings away
    but the last two lines,i really dont understand mabey its cause im simplebut its still an awesomely delicious write.

  • californiagirl
    November 19, 2007

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    I think that this piece is more suited for another contest. It didn't really have anything to do with cutting, but instead with heartbreak. Which would be fine if it were a contest for poems about heartbreak. Thanks for your entry and good luck!