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~ Rice Paper~





I touch the flower wilted and faded in hue
hidden within the rice paper,
Remnants of  the night young promises were made
in syllables we had yet to understand,
Like soft petals falling I can still hear
the gentle echo of your voice,
I remember our dreams that were not tainted
by layered circumstances of life,
And our only care was to taste the forbidden fruit,
Suddenly my eyes weep with silken tears,
With age I come to realize some memories
are never meant to fade,
And my heart swells as I waltz in the memory of you.





Author notes

Word use option. in order used.
wilted, remenants,syllables,petals,echo,tainted,layered,forbidden,fade,waltz,

credits for photo. http://www.judebennitto.com/widgets/gen_146.1.gif

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • RedwingSpirit silver member
    November 25, 2007

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    A very Wonderful Romantic write. Lovely imagery as well great flow too. Congratulations on the honorable mention


  • -LilacThOughts- gold member
    November 21, 2007

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    Expressive!

    A beautiful poem and a beautiful romantic memory...making me sigh

    How we hold words and keepsakes as a rememberance...but they pale, to the actual thoughts we hold inside...they're like photographs...hopefully the mind will never let those images fade

    Penned so gracefully and poetically, I have read it three times over already I'm so glad you were awarded a trophy for this...

    Love and smiles
    ~Lilac


  • ShelleyA gold member
    November 15, 2007

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    A lovely write. Poignant. Beautiful imagery, flow and tone. Lovely depth of feeling. Vivid descriptives. Good word choice and alliteration. Excellent closing lines. Well penned and much enjoyed. Congratulations on winning Honorable Mention. Well deserved.


  • RatherImaginative silver member
    November 13, 2007

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    Your imagery is amazing in this piece. I love the idea of "rice paper", as it wonderfully describes the fragility of the moment, and how easily it was lost. This is tender, bittersweet poem full of emotion.


  • Elfin
    November 13, 2007

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    This reminded me of the rose that I pressed from my bridal boquet, too many years ago now but still the memories make it feel like yesterday. A deeply poignant piece you have penned here Frozentearz, remarkable considering that you used a word bank, I would never have guessed. Well done hun. Val


  • poet2angels gold member
    October 29, 2007

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    What a perfect piece flowing so beautifully. You would never know it was written using a word bank...Just so exceptional this is!
    Your talent shines here..

    Lynda


  • Malabu
    October 27, 2007

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    this just sings

    to me...and I believe..no matter the age...our youth remains and keeps us young...through our memories...much is these things expressed here in the writing...wonderful use of the bank...in a well journeed path of splender...beautiful this is..
    Mal


  • Errant Panther gold member
    October 27, 2007

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    oh heart be still - you have captured the essence of remembered love very well with this piece, unique styling to polish off talented penmanship.


  • azure85 gold member
    October 27, 2007

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    Your words do fly with this beautiful remembrance, from far gone days that always live within the heart. Great use of the word bank, and a wonderful poem!

1 - 9 of 9