Crystal drops just keep falling
Grey cascades over the clear blue skies
Dance freely with the wind
Author notes
This is my first haiku...Please tell me what you think about it.
A contest entry
- Rainy Day Haiku by azure85.
600 points, ended November 10, 2007, 51 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Short Poems by Pollycheck.
450 points, ended May 26, 2008, 179 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What Do You Think?
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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Its raining MEN... hallelujah its rainin men!!
Or is it raining frogs? i couldn't tell.. they all say the same lines..... *rivet* -
very pretty imagery hun! love this
christina
good job and good luck -
Love the words and thought
I just finished studying the haiku form. It is done with a 5-7-5 syllabic count rather than 5-7-5 word count. Try this as a possibility.
crystal teardrops fall,
cascading heaven's sweet love,
dancing sky to earth
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Nice haiku Jax, lovely imagery and serenity flows...
Keep writing froglegs! -
Thank you for entering my short poems contest. I see from your comments that this is your first haiku. You have captured the essence of the haiku, but you need to look at your syllable count.
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I love it!! Great joB!!!
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It makes me want to dance in the Rain like I have hundreds times before. Good luck in the Rain Haiku Contest!
Ted E
PS: Calling ALL Rain Lovers: a group has been started for you:
http://allpoetry.com/group/show/I%20Truly%20Love%20The%20Rain
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Calming drops of water
Rapidly falling like tears
Sway with the wind
This is very nice for your first haiku, you should be proud of it. You have captured the rain and the wind, the feelings in this haiku. Well done.
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well done and I loved the middle line ~ rapidly falling like tears!!! - I don't know if you were going for the variations of haiku with the line syllable count you did or if you were attempting the standard 5-7-5 syllable count and if so your count is 6-7-4. many blessings always xx
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