Beautiful darling;
how are you doing?
Morning awakes; bright star does fade.
No more playing games.
Everyone has a wish, everyone has a dream.
Mine is to be with you, yes, for an eternity.
Like bees, soaring in spring flowers field,
Guide me to the end of all dreams.
Share with me, your heart, and my last name.
Silent whisper dies within my breath,
but I swear that I love you.
Death can take me away as long as I birth in your heart.
Sometimes I dream of kissing you,
but my biggest fear is getting you upset.
Perhaps, you'll slap me but...,
for such pleasuring, loving, warming and tendering kiss,
I might actually turn over the other cheek and let you slap me again...,
but the uncertainty
of ruin the most elegant
thing in my life would
forever be torturing.
I guess, I'll just say
if we were meant to be,
love will harbor at our shore...
Author notes
MACKIE
OR
MACKINTOCH
A contest entry
- Poems That Should Have Won...But Didn't by trista.
1050 points, ended February 24, 2008, 44 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Love Dedications by Blooming Poet.
440 points, ended January 3, 2008, 53 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - CLICK HERE, YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO....... by Maybe.I.Am.Broken..
400 points, ended December 12, 2007, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Pimp up my free verse by leander.
400 points, ended January 6, 2008, 45 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Lost Moments by Danna Hobart.
300 points, ended January 3, 2008, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - GIVE ME YOUR BEST!!! ya know ya wanna! by infinitechaos07.
450 points, ended January 10, 2008, 41 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give Me Your Best! by Celticmoon.
450 points, ended January 14, 2008, 56 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Sappy Emo Love by SchizoChic.
450 points, ended January 19, 2008, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Love Poems. by OurxBeginning.
300 points, ended February 12, 2008, 49 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Love is in the air!! by K1r5ty.
550 points, ended March 5, 2008, 27 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - How Much Do You Love Me? by UnManned4Ever.
1000 points, ended April 4, 2008, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ~♥~ Hopeless Romantics and Other Sad Love Poems ~♥~ by Shassidy.
525 points, ended April 21, 2008, 67 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Short Love Poems by Blooming Poet.
300 points, ended April 21, 2008, 43 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - MAD IN LOVE ! (PREWRITES ALLOWED )(EASIEST CONTEST ) by Alex Hex.
300 points, ended May 8, 2008, 14 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - how far?? by onapedestalIstand.
300 points, ended May 6, 2008, 27 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Love That Just Wasn't Meant To Be by BlackSwan.
550 points, ended May 17, 2008, 30 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Short Poems About Anything (PW welcome) by Intricate Wordsmith.
550 points, ended May 28, 2008, 54 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Let Me Upgrade Ya! (2) by bananasfoster42.
525 points, ended June 18, 2008, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Sappy love poems by crazymomma.
800 points, ended July 27, 2008, 64 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - True Love by Samantha Marie.
450 points, ended October 5, 2008, 64 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - come on i want to feel the passion by ruthie fallen angel.
700 points, ended December 16, 2008, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - 'Cause this is life by mickey94.
900 points, ended December 16, 2008, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 59 of 59
-
good job and good luck
-
I enjoyed reading this poem, it made me think about the people I love and the price of a kiss (a slap! haha!)
Thank you very much for entering and good luck!
-
Great write
-
oh this is a pretty poem~! i love it,
you are very talented, thanks for entering and good luck! -
Very nice imagery and sweetness in your words. I enjoyed the last stanza most of all. Thanks for entering and good luck
-
OMG! Have you ever read the Twighlight books?? Immediatly after I started reading this I pictured Edward Cullen reading this to his true love Bella Swan. However, I don't really like the last stanza, maybe thats just because of the faces and stories I'm putting this to. It just seems so unsure, like if it wasn't ment to happen you could get over it type thing. The rest seems so constant like their is no life without this other person. Good luck in the contest and thanks for entering
-
i loved the last three lines. a great quote i think! thanks for the entry
-
I loved the last stanza the most, and it's very true. I didn't like the doubt though to be honest with you. Love shouldn't carry any doubts. Thank you for entering and good luck.
-
Wow!
Lovely poem! I like it just the way it is, red ink and all with the background. I especially like the end:
I guess, I'll just say
if we were meant to be,
love will harbor at our shore...
Excellent work! Keep on penning!
-
this is a really awesome write!!! it's perfect!!
SOBRESALIENTE!!!! EXCELLENT!!
-
A nice piece, well written. My best wishes in the contest.
-
nice..thanks for entering
-
"Death can take me away as long as I birth in your heart"
wooow ! this was the best love poem i have ever read ! i loved it ! i loved a few lines of the poem really too much !
Thank you so much for participating and best wishes in the contest ,
yours host,friend and fan ,
alex hex
-
BeautifuI.
-
cute little poem.
-
Wow. This is a wonderful piece! The emotion in this comes through extremely well. My favorite parts of this are stanzas 3-6 because they really have a lot of powerful emotions that come through. I think the title could be more inventive, but it still reflects the poem well, so it works out. This has really great flow in it as well, so I really like that. Great job and good luck in the contest!
-
this is really good and your girl must be very special. Great write and it was definately and attention grabber. This is a really great write. Keep up the good work and good luck in the contest
-
The ending line is wonderful, I enjoyed it the most out of your entire piece, because it's so true. The emotion was strong and simple.
Thank you for entering and good luck.
-
Just lovely... straight from the heart. I love it.
-
You have quite the tender and loving piece here. Your words are soft and gentle throughout. Thank you for entering. Best of luck to you!
Blessings
Bel
-
Thanks for entering my contest and best of luck!
-
Thanks for entering.
-
I really love the last three lines you used to close this tender and beautiful poem actually very well done!
Thanks for entering this poem in the contest!
Leander -
thankyou for your entry
i liked it, felt it lacked a little something, however, i have no suggestion on what it could be.thanks again -
This is a good piece, but it could have been a little more descriptive and emotional, but still I liked it. Very good piece.
Thanks for entering,
Annie Shadows...... -
This sad but yet so amazing at the same time. You are really willing to give up a lot for that special someone. I share many of the same feelings, that you share in this poem. Ilove the ending
I guess, I'll just say
if we were meant to be,
love will harbor at our shore...
It is beautiful. Good luck in my contest
-
oh wow! this is just so beautiful! I don't think i've ever read a more beautiful love poem before. Your imagery, thoughts and emotions - all of it is just so good! Love it!
-
Awe this piece is so beautiful you sure have talent!!!!
You should give these poems to whom you are writing them for you will be sure to win their heart
-
Thanks
Thanks for your entry into my contest and good luck -
Yet another beautiful write. This one had a great flow to it too. Thanks for entering and good luck to you in the contest.
-
Just lovely, this is very strong and heart felt. I really loved the line:
Sometimes I dream of kissing you,
but my biggest fear is getting you upset.
Perhaps, you'll slap me but...,
for such pleasuring, loving, warming and tendering kiss,
I might actually turn over the other cheek and let you slap me again...,
A man the takes pleasure within the pain of love, wow!
Wonderful little read. and Good luck.
-
Wow, thank you so much for sharing this poem with me. it is beautiful i love every line, yet my favorite lines are: "Sometimes I dream of kissing you,
but my biggest fear is getting you upset.
Perhaps, you'll slap me but...,
for such pleasuring, loving, warming and tendering kiss,
I might actually turn over the other cheek and let you slap me again" This makes me feel so warm and bubbly inside and out, it is perfection in the making, and how you show the love in your heart so easily for the one that you love, it is sweet, and a most uncommon gesture, it is just so nice to see that you care so much for your lover. thank you again for sharing this peice with me, and for entering it into my contest. best of luck to you. -
This is beautifully written!!!! I love how you expressed your love as well as you fears about that love so elegently. You made this feel real, instead of a fairy tale "i love you and we have no problems ever" kind of poem!!!! This was by far my favorite peice:
"Sometimes I dream of kissing you,
but my biggest fear is getting you upset.
Perhaps, you'll slap me but...,
for such pleasuring, loving, warming and tendering kiss,
I might actually turn over the other cheek and let you slap me again"
again very beautifully written and good luck in the contest!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -
BEAUTIFUL
Gosh the emotion behind your words brought tears to my eyes. This was beautifully penned...
-
You are in love
And you explain it in a lovely manner.
Smile,
Judy
-
WOW.......Now if only i could get my man to say something like this to me!! This was a very beautiful piece. Thank you for sharing this!
-
GORGEOUS
this is beautiful!!
None of it sounds akward!
I LOVE INTENSE WRITES!
x x x
-
very very lovely. simple and elegant. good luck :]
-
beautifully written as is all your poetry.
must be a special girl
best wishes always
Tasha
-
As always you have penned this
Beautifully, Mack, I love it and it's entirety
ur friend,
Ephiphany
-
It's okay for a love poem - but I'm sure it's a lot more special to the one it was written for. Blessings!
-
Wow
Such tenderness in words written speaking the language of love ever so softly that no partner can ever resist.. this is just beautifully written masterpiece that starts from your heart and reaches to reader's heart across few lines that have the depths of the deepest seas...
darling your silence is louder than words
i can hear the sweet voice of your beating heart
the kiss you've been waiting for, I've heard it
the only dream of yours is no more only yours anymore
it's a dream I've been wanting to share
can't you listen to my heartbeat melting in yours?
Sure you can turn your cheek towards me
I shall do but what you perceive
for tender peck on cheeks is long over due
but before everything, i just wanted to say
you've way with simple words
but I have a way into your heart's world....
I'm sure something like this can only be an answer to your tener dream... wonderful write... thanks for sharing... take care Minoo
-
wow I haven't been on in a long time. So I'm glad to see some good material on here. But you always have a charming way with words.
but I swear that I love you.
Death can take me away as long as I birth in your heart
Sometimes I dream of kissing you,
but my biggest fear is getting you upset.
Perhaps, you'll slap me but...,
for such pleasuring, loving, warming and tendering kiss,
I might actually turn over the other cheek and let you slap me again
LOL I liked that part... much luv LOL
-
I guess, I'll just say
if we were meant to be,
love will harbor at our shore...
what an elegant way to end this write. And it is the truth as well. I have become a firm believer in "what is meant to be, will be", no matter how much time elapses in between. I wish that for you,
reenie
-
anguish and love blended
good job with this...at first I thought when reading
the first couple stanza's what a delicious man to be
able to share his feelings like this...and the final
stanza's brought feelings of anguish.
the stanza that really hit me in the face was:
"the uncertainty of ruin,
the most elegant thing in my life,
would forever be torturing."
powerful stanza...consider seperating it a little with
more space..so the readers can drink it in..and wonder
what you mean..what you are feeling..love or despair?
Don't let format CONFINE you.......YOU DEFINE it,
give it AIR so that we flow right where you want us!
ears2hearyou
Kathleen
lots of hiding metaphors within this poem, GREAT JOB!
-
awww this was so beautiful,Take my advise and kiss her!
risk it so if you get slaped at least you will remember the kiss! lol
I loved that this was a beautiful way to propose your love to her!
Awesome write to the one you love.
Your simplicity is the most beautiful part of this writing.
Goodluck on your future,
~Lisa~
-
your love writes never cease to amaze me. your heart is a mighty big one and i hope there is someone to fill the voids. someone like the one whom you write about. thank you for sharing this with me. viyanna rosemarie
-
very beautiful. i love this. keep up the good work and thanks for sharing.
Angel -
A right poem.
A very beautiful love poem. Sounds good too!
-
DA BOMB, HIT THE PITCHER . . .
IT WORKS WELL, WHEN i SAY THIS. tHIS IS GOING ON MY FAVORITES AS WELL. THATS HOW GOOOD THIS POEM IS, TO ME. GOODLUCK. AND KEEP WRITING. SMILE ALWAYS. IT BLOWS ME OVER THE WORDS AND VERSE TO ONES DEVOTION TO THIS GIRL IN THE POEM. EVERY GIRL WANTS TO FIND A MAN LIKE THIS. YOU HAVE THE WORDS NOW, GO PROVE IT TO HER WITH THIS IN MIND. BYE. BYE.THE TITLE REFERS TO THE EXPENSE HE WOULD PAY FOR THIS GIRL TO HAVE HER LOVE HIM FOR ITERNITY. THAT IS A BLOWN AWAY DESCRIPTION.
-
Fantastic
A tender and intoxicating ode to your lover. It bubbled with genuine warmth. Spoken from the mind of man who has seen the folly of destruction and has embraced love as the only way.
much love,
mike porkchops
-
very beautiful i love it.
-
Life has no uncertainty like that of a union called marriage for it has lost much meaning and luster in this age of modern living.
Little time have we for nurturing an ideal from a past that seems to be fading quickly into the land of distant memories. Hopefully you will find the key to everlasting happines and some compassion with a good measure of compromise.
I like it, I like it so.
-
This piece i think is indeed beautiful, very descriptive, and well put together, you did a really great job at this.
-
Silent whisper dies within my breath
but I swear that I love you.
Death can take me away as long as I birth in your heart
Thats the Line that i liked the most its Truly and amazing Portrayal of Love in great words hope Masterpieces Keep on Coming from your pen
-
Beautiful!
"Morning awakes, bright star does fade
no more playing games,
everyone has a wish, everyone has a dream
and mine is to be with you, yes for an eternity."
I feel that right there I would have to say this is breath taking I hope to read more of your work. And congrates on such a great poem.
I truely like this it's something everyone can relate to.
Much respect,
~Kimber
-
HHHHHhhh (gasp for air)
whooo...that was good. not too complex but simple at saying how u feel..i wish someone wrote this for me! i loved it. very dreamy. -
"Share with me your heart and my last name."
YES! LOL Couldn't help myself. I know this must be written for someone special but it really speaks as if it is written from the love of my life to me. LOL
I am docked! LOL
This is luscious! I hope you will not mind that I add you to my favorites list. I feel fortunate to have come across your writings Mr. Mack. I have thoroughly enjoyed myself.
Candice
-
it will definitely harbor at your shore. i smiled when i read "Share with me your heart and my last name", what a wonderful way of proposing. this poem is lovely, as lovely as the purple/pink font, as lovely as those butterflies. nice. regards.
Adding your comment:
1 - 59 of 59
