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a break

 

 

 

a break

in the clouds ~

bald spot

 

 

 

 

 

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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Comments

1 - 13 of 13

  • aboomer silver member
    April 3, 2008

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    I love this!!! I've never tried a Haiku, not even sure I understand them...lol....but yours is so imaginative and yet makes perfect sense. It's so simple, yet so full of image, that I could easily see this in a published work.
    Excellent! And congrats on your trophy!
    best wishes


  • myron silver member
    December 21, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    excellent

    Hi Julie - this is an exellent haiku. i love it. i love the juxtaposition of images - the blue of the sky between the parted clouds and the shining head of the bald man. it's a lovely contrast.

    in fact, sometimes when i re-read this multi-dimensional haiku i see the sun when the clouds part. it's the kind of poem that i have already red over and over again - to myself and then out loud. even my fridge made an appreciative noise after i read it loudly (lol). your haiku has a good rhythm to it.


    this is a grat example of contemporary haiku.
    i hope you will submit it somewhere for publication (if you haven't already done so).

    it's good to read your work again; i haven't been around much on AP in the last 6 months or so.

    yours in haiku,
    myron.


    • trista gold member
      December 22, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Hi myron,

      It's so good to hear from you again! I wondered what happened to you, and hope your AP absence was due to good things.

      Thanks so much for your praise on my haiku. I've long considered you to be the true measure of my "haiku worth". lol I have not submitted this or any of my others anywhere, really don't know where or how to even begin. Perhaps when the holidays are over I'll start looking into it. Any tips you have would be appreciated!

      I'll take a swing by your page soon to see what you've been writing. Meanwhile, I wish you a joyous holiday season filled with many "haiku moments".


      ~J.


  • PoetryDove
    November 16, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Hey Trista

    LOL, this is a great one.
    I think my dad is starting to relate to this one, just a bit, eh?

    I think that you've been really creative with this one. I don't think I really get haiku's (which may sound dumb, but I just don't understand a lot of them) but this one actually makes sense to me. Much sense!

    Loved it, it made me smile.
    Great job in the "Rainy Day Haiku" contest.
    You deserved it!!!

    Much love from your AP Daughter,
    ::.. Poetrydove ..::


  • Aussie Gypsy gold member
    November 7, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is beautiful, that you can express such imagery in so few words takes true talent... goodluck in the contest

    Karen


  • Ted E Bare gold member
    October 30, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    I guess the bald spot is for the bucket to help let it pour down(lol). Good luck in the Rain Haiku Contest!


    Ted E


    PS: Calling ALL Rain Lovers: a group has been started for you:

    http://allpoetry.com/group/show/I%20Truly%20Love%20The%20Rain


  • Never Fall in Love
    October 30, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    SOmething about this is driving me nuts lol
    I interpreted one thing - and then not understanding Arkbear's comment makes me wonder if what I'm really thinking is correct, you know?

    Never ♥


    • trista gold member
      October 30, 2007

      Edit | Reply
      Awww...just ignore Bear's comment. I did NOT write this with any intended meaning other than what I'm sure you got the first time.

      Thanks for stopping by to read, comment, and for the applause. I always look forward to your comments, even if it's on something short like this.

      s
      ~J.


  • Arkbear gold member
    October 29, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Very nice Julie ~

    Some of us Men will blush after reading this...hehe ~

     

    Oh, to be a woman!

     

    Nice job Hun,

     

    good luck,

     

    Bear ~


    • trista gold member
      October 30, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Hi Bear,

      Somehow...me thinks it would take a lot more than this to make YOU blush.

      Thanks for stopping by to read, hun. I appreciate the comment and applause.

      s
      ~J.


  • GhostBear
    October 29, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    I liked this as well, it's a different perspective. I works on multiple levels =D


    • trista gold member
      October 29, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you. I haven't seen many modern haiku in this contest which makes me kind of nervous. Most seem to follow the 5/7/5 format, which I like also...but for some reason I think I do better writing the modern. Oh, well. Sometimes it's good to be different.

      Appreciate the comment and the applause!

      ~J.


  • azure85 gold member
    October 28, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    a break
    in the clouds ~
    bald spot

    LOL Oh, this one is great, I love your AHA moment!

1 - 13 of 13