Not today. Please not today.
It is almost indescribable.
Losing all control of yourself.
Sinking but falling,
faster and faster
As the minutes pass.
"How many times do I have to tell you?
When I voice stop,
that’s what it means.
A million times over,
I spoke of knowing what is to come.
Stupidly trusting I can stop it.
So I scream terminate now,
but you do not.
Getting shitty and walking away
you leave me, shaking uncontrollably.
Feeling heart attack like symptoms
and having no control over myself.
You’ve been witness to the physical hurt
I cause to myself when anxieties have a hold.
Yet you question why? Instead of helping."
Such a bitch, my enemy the panic attack!
Haunting me and waiting to pounce.
How does it know to grab at me?
When I am already so weak?
It is almost indescribable.
Losing all control of yourself.
Sinking but falling,
faster and faster
As the minutes pass.
Author notes
My disease or something along those lines, Depression and Anxieties..
This is all true. Something that is a bold thing for me to do. I don't normally like revealing such deep things. But Writing this helped and I hope it may help somone else, have some understanding
In a list
A contest entry
- Waiting for the Other Shoe to Drop by grm.
1850 points, ended November 9, 2007, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Tell me about something that you feel ashamed of and writing is the only way you can express it. by metalchik1988.
335 points, ended January 3, 2008, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Different Topics Come See If You Like Any by lesbian-in-love.
675 points, ended January 19, 2008, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - JUST TWO DAYS TO REACH 1000 ENTRIES !!!! ( BE A PART OF THIS RECORD BREAKING CONTEST ) by Alex Hex.
300 points, ended May 1, 2008, 526 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Endless Wonder by checkers12.
300 points, ended May 5, 2008, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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This is truly one of the best I have read...SO real and scary...i try to understand how poeple get the courage to write something so personal...you inspire me...love this poem/!!!!
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Oh My WOW
Cindy
I read this and it was like something I would put down on paper and trust me I know how much courage it really takes to post something so personal and dark about yourself...It suffocates you until you find a way to release it...
So here is to you my friend...
I commend you on your courage and just know you are never alone...
Lots of love
Tes
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Oh my WoW
Thanks Tes..It was one of the first I posted that revealed more of the real me etc..It wasn't easy but I was so glad I did it and it has only been easy to write about since and it does help too
Cin
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I am glad you entered into my contest. I myself can relate so I know how hard it can be. I came along way to be where I am at today. Thanks for entering and good luck to you in my contest.
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Thank you so much
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Very well written...I find it to be heartfelt. I incourage you to continue writing. Good luck
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This truly penns and describes panic attacks. I am glad for your sake the emost part you have them toned down.That is a scary feeling. The poem was wonderfully written.
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firstly, i'm sorry you suffer from anxiety. i went through it myself some time ago, and it was a struggle to overcome.
that being said,
i have to say that i find this write more in the category of a journal entry, rather than a work of poetry.
poetry is all about imagery, metaphors, and being original in saying whatever it is you need to say.
i recommend you reading the works of Anne Sexton and Sylvia Plath to see how orginality plays into describing one's own inner turmoil.
i thank you for entering, and hope you find inner peace one day soon
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I know what you mean. Losing control. And sinking but at the same time falling. The world becomes black. Can't see anything but darkness.. Like nothing will ever be light again.
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A good poem of telling about one self. you seem to be relieved as every one else in such predicament..A nice write..Good luck in the contest
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Venugopal
I am relieved, as I have a hold of these anxieties finally ( well for the most part ) Thank you for reading, much appreciated
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I'm going to percive this in my eyes that this is a message od deep and utter emotional turmoil inside... a void and anger to me is what it brings and yet -- helpless affairs , and loved ....
you always prove yourself.. not that you need- that you have a talent far beyond the wonderfull - in self expression ....
I loved this peice and I am more than sure you can touch others as well...
praise xoxox Blair
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