sometimes
you breathed
into the tip
of my
ear -
and I laid
as sound as
silence
while watching you
play within
my hair -
amongst the
winds
and water.
Author notes
another wind poem
A contest entry
- Passion: 50 words or less by Lj-.
300 points, ended November 8, 2007, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Pimp up my honorable mention or trophyless by leander.
400 points, ended December 4, 2007, 86 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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There is a really nice image built out of the breath on the ear and the playing with hair that takes on a life of its own when the phrase sound as silence comes into play. Beyond all of the allusions, the meaning of sound as solid and concrete reverberates with all the other denotations availalble. The idea of silence as an object with weight and quality so nicely put. Very tight, very concise and yet as graceful and full of nonchalance like the toss of a hand or the way a long ribbon trails in a breeze.
Love, Tom B.
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First of all: great picture
I especially like the moment it's captured, when wind was in fact playing with the girls hair 
On to the poem:
A piece that is very well written, in a soft voice - bringing a soothing and almost sensual atmosphere with it
the line 'as sound as' seemed a bit awkward to me, but that's probably due to the fact that English isn't my maternal (as you know
) and that it's impossible for me to know all the expressions there are in English 
Great job hun, I wish you the very best!
Leander -
Cool atmosphere.
Thank you for your entry,
Best of luck. -
GREAT title hun!!!
Oh ... and the rest was brilliant as well
I am still stuck on that title though
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OMG! It's soOooooOoooo amazin....deeply extremely supremely passionate with ultra warmth
I rrr-rrreally love this poem! - awesome work -....*impeccable touchy piece*
Wish you all the good lucs of this planet for the contestxD
seeya)
Fatima -
I love this! The "as sound as silence" bit was incredible. Well done, and best of luck in the contest.
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I've loved your previous wind poem and I just love this one too. What a breeze you've placed here on this page... softly sensual, yet passionate and so very warm. This is beautiful poetry, Namita - simply beautiful!!
~ Nicolette
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I think I'm in love with the wind.
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I love the wind too - especially storm winds... so count me in there with you
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