I know that it is nearing,
I can see it through the clearing.
it's all bright and marry,
but yet, oh so scary.
I can only hear it creaping
for my heart is weeping
as if I was sleeping
I barely notice the rest is gone
for most was a con
as I sit here and wait
I wonder why it is so late
even though
I know
it's not coming for me
I just wish it would leave him be
as it taps him on the shoulder
I know he feels coolder
now for the pain
although he knows there is no gain
and all the angels sang
as it ended with a bang
Author notes
This is kind of a metaphoric poem about watching some one you know suffer from depression and then watching suicide creap up on them as you sit back and watch because they are to far gone!
A contest entry
- Give me your best by Technicolor Kay.
380 points, ended November 13, 2007, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Using The Poetic Elements... BIRTH OR DEATH by RezLife.
600 points, ended October 31, 2007, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Serial Killers? Dreams? Death? Oh my! by skyviewexpress.
800 points, ended December 24, 2007, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Wayne Leon Learmond by Quill.
1000 points, ended February 16, 2008, 7 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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Hm. Well, the metaphoric aspect of the poem is good... How often we must witness such things. The Rhyming? Obviously forced rhyme taking alot of beauty from the poem. Expanding your vocabulary is a great way to overcome rhyming issues! But nonetheless, Thank you for entering and good luck!
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That's a good poem. I like the way it reads, you can feel the emotion in it, just in the line breaks and ryhme. Nice job on this one.
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Wow i was lost for words on this one....well done
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