This has gone on so long,
sometimes i think it'll never end.
Could this be forever,
or into forgotteness will it descend.
I hope to god,
I'll always be able to picture your face.
Even though in many ways
its you I've disgraced.
i hope you can forgive me
for the many wrongs.
So that we can find away to remember
each other when were gone.
I've had you in my heart,
for what seems an eternity,
i don't think you could even know
how much you'll always mean to me.
I don't want to ever forget you,
and your eyes of the purest blue.
So do me favor love,
promise you'll remember me too.
A contest entry
- Never Forget, Never Let Go by trista.
450 points, ended November 30, 2007, 27 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
nah..
Comments
-
I think it's a wish most of us have...wanting to be remembered just as we remember those special to us. Hopefully we are remembered for the good things and still loved in some way despite the bad.
I enjoyed the simple rhyming in this, and thought it helped give it a lovely and gentle flow. I don't think "forgotteness" is actually a word...but I liked it the way you used it, as it seemed like the "right" word for what you needed. One thing you may want to look at though - in some places you've capped the word "I" and in other places you didn't. I prefer to see it always capped, but either is okay and a matter of personal preference; I just like to see it consistent throughout the poem either way.
Thank you so much for your entry in the contest, and good luck to you. This was very touching and I enjoyed reading it.
Best wishes,
~J. -
I really like this and the last verse hits a special nerve too. It is all down to personal taste, the poems you like and the ones that do nothing for you, can there be a right or wrong? Well done.
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G'day Faded
Amazing write. The imagery is strong in this.
"I hope to god,
I'll always be able to picture your face.
Even though in many ways
its you I've disgraced"
Excellent stanza.
Best of luck in the contest
Stay safe
~Amanda
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