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Rain, rain

 

 

Rain, rain, come what may

Please don’t ever go away

I need you now, on this day

Help me hide the pain

 

Fall, fall, please fall on me

Please mask these tears so none will see

I’m begging you on bended knee

Why don’t you hear my plea?

 

Feeling strength within our bond

My prayers are answered, you do respond

This darkened ally of whom I’m fond

Clouds are forming there beyond

 

Drops, drops, I feel relieved

My pain is given its reprieve

Some joy so longed to be achieved

With faith, I should believe

 

Love, love, come my way

Please don’t ever go away

Living day, by passing day

Ridding me of pain

 

 

 

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Comments

1 - 18 of 18

  • loveisfreedom
    January 10, 2008

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    this was awsome

    I really liked this piece I relate to it as well. I also find comfort in the rain like the love of god flowing over me cleansing me. Good job man


  • catz Moderators member
    December 30, 2007

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    I like this, John. You've done a superb job of making poetic use of the rain. I personally love the rain, partly for the reasons in your poem, partly because I just do. I wish we'd get it more often here in Phoenix.

    Your poem seems so heartfelt and sincere. The rhyming is great, even with the two slight deviations.,, it still fits right in

    A superb write

    Dee


  • Blazor
    December 11, 2007
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    I'm now quite frustrated. The image of rain hiding tears was one of the subjects I planned on writing about. Fortunately, you beat me to it and I have to say it came out splendidly. Well penned, old friend. Not to say you're old, just that we go back a little. Keep writing the good write.


  • Rebekah-Ann silver member
    November 9, 2007
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    Congrats on the front page!! [Spotlight]
    Such a lovely crafted piece.
    very well done!

    Becks


  • grannyeri gold member
    November 3, 2007

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    Liked the rhythm, rhyme, flow of the lines in this poem. Enjoyed the sentiments expressed here - got to love that rain you describe.


  • DevilHimself silver member
    November 2, 2007

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    unsure what to say

    i guess i would have to know the author a bit better to really be able to critique this write. firstly it strikes me wanting a bit more, some meaning beyond the grey content. secondly i think it should be patently rhyming or straight free verse; the mix doesnt work so well... personally references to faith and prayer dont fly well with me and that may also affect my judgement regarding this write.(forgive me if the majority opinion echoes that.)
    peace 2 you-
    -dev


  • misticmoonlite gold member
    November 2, 2007

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    Filled with pleas to have less pain I felt the need to pray with you,as weather changes artur lives deeper within, nice but truly heartfelt...wish you the best,MM

  • Life Messenger
    November 2, 2007

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    You caught me with your rhythm. It seems simple at first read, but making it seem effortless might have taken a lot of work. Nice write! Keep on writing!

  • SilentMind
    November 2, 2007
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    wonderful...that's actually the reason I like the rain, then if you cry no one has to see.


  • Pyper Rain gold member
    November 1, 2007

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    Ah, the rain, giver of life...as it cleanses, it promises the sun will shine again. Well done, beautifully written, I love how this transitions nicely.

    ~Pyper Rain


  • Candy6
    November 1, 2007
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    Great rhyming poem. Beautiful imagery.


  • transit
    November 1, 2007

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    wow!

    this poem reminded me of my best friend. she loves the rain and she would like this poem too.

    I like the rhyming scheme. It is not forced and has a nice flow. I like that you are begging the rain to pour. It is much better than cutting or anything like that. rain does hide our tears and this poem is sad because of that element but a nice piece overall.

  • Seeking Peace silver member
    November 1, 2007

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    This is a beautiful piece, I loved the rhyme which is unusual for me... wonderfully presented. Grand job

    Karen


  • Kari gold member
    October 31, 2007

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    Aw. This by far has got to be one of the best things I've read all week. I totally love it and even think it's front page worthy. Very well done...
    hmm now I'll have that song going through my mind lol.


  • galfalfa gold member
    October 29, 2007

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    I truly hope this doesnt mean you've trouble with your new found love...perfectly penned John - love the pirate look too

    galfalfa

  • Tecohe
    October 28, 2007

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    Noteworthy

    A fresh presentation of rain as a cloak for tears. Fav line are "this darkened ally of who I'm fond, clouds are forming there beyond".
    Tecohe


  • LionessK silver member
    October 26, 2007
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  • Judith Chandler
    October 26, 2007
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    nice adaptation

    I'm glad your prayers were answered and you found your love again. I like "darkened ally".

1 - 18 of 18