Pliant pink rubbings wander
Supplementing grey with indecision
The weight of penciled rhyme
Punctuated wholly
Through words that dead lead might‘ve said
Eye brows over capital eyes
Moments lie acronymic
[Time is my enemy]
Procrastination is D-graded;
But another preposition to disposal
Blindly distracted by impermeable muse
I bleed in fat, flat lines of pronoun possession
Nothing more can be said
I am the idiom of futility
Author notes
I; pronoun
A contest entry
- How do I begin by lie.
1800 points, ended October 29, 2007, 4 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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Don't I know it.
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Cute comment. Glad you could relate and sorry at the same time.
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Intelligent poem.
Intelligent poem, yet not obstruse. Theme revealed is important. -
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Thanks Dude!
... yet not obtruse... I like that, well phrased. Kj
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I really love this poem.
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Fantastic
Structure works wonders with the choice of vocabulary. Lines seven through ten really caught hold of me, from there on in I was hooked. Well done! -
what are these trophies I see on these poems?
Well I liked this a whole mess load. I never heard I bleed in fat though, I may borrow it, that ok?
I want to pick those clapping hands but its sayin I don't have points. -
Great play on words in these lines; one can try too hard to make something work, when it really doesn't. Super verbiage in the poem. makes great reading, and leaves one wanting more.
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well i must say i did love reding this, and i see why you got the gold =) good work here keep up with your talent,
nessa -
well i must say i did love reding this, and i see why you got the gold =) good work here keep up with your talent,
nessa -
Clever! and I can relate to the subject matter of this piece! Neat read. - NANGALEEMA
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i love your second line.. and lines 10-11.. or all of it. loverly, as always.
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This is wonderful. I love the way you have used a play on words. Brilliantly written. Well deserving gold.
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For me, this reminds me of the times when I'd die to write something that I'm proud of. Not sure if that was the intentional direction of the piece, but it's what I pulled from it.
Poetic technique, with a beat, and yet, it's freely moving. It's not restricted to the assonance and alliteration you utilized.
This:
"Blindly distracted by impermeable muse
I bleed in fat, flat lines of pronoun possession"
is bloody brilliant. I always find myself making the poem or even whatever I'm working on, all about me, and it's so annoying.
I love the relate-able quality to this. Great work, truly astounding
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Thanks so much,
What you took from it was pretty much right on track. The intentions of the poem were loosely based on one's personal distractions getting in the way of their muse via second-guessing, trying too hard and their own biases.
I had some fun with a punch of word plays as well: punctuated holes, eye brows capitalized, the time acronym, blindly distracted...
The poem was originally going to be called "I,Pronoun" but in the spirit of theme I chose to second this with something that implied being left purposely untitled.
I had fun, thanks again,
Kj
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i like it, its cool. it kinda amazes me how often you write and i can't write about something (well write anything well) unless i'm overwhelmed with something. lol
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