Hold your heads up high,
let nothing mean defeat;
your steps can reach the sky,
hold your heads up high.
It matters that you try
to reach the topmost seat.
Hold your heads up high,
let nothing mean defeat.
Author notes
I wrote this on the bus this afternoon, before seeing how it would fit the contest. The title came after.
In a list
A contest entry
- Twenty or fewer lines on or from this Mountain by Lyndon.
1000 points, ended November 18, 2007, 17 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Thanks for reading!
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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Well done
Congratulations on gold. -
As soon as I read these very resonant words a song popped into my head, Poet:
"When you walk through the storm
Hold your head up high
And don't be afraid of the dark.
At the end of the storm
There's a golden sky
And the sweet silver song of the lark ..."
These famous words have nothing to do with a mountain specifically but they came into my scatter-brain head instantly!
Repetition is carefully timed in this verse and I admire that, poet.
For some reason, I feel that a man wrote this and, again, I do not know why,; not that it matters one way or the other. [I have a 50% chance.
]
Each line is a memorable gem, in my opinion and I've read much verse. I can tell you.
Line one uses the technique of alliteration unostentatiously.
Line two uses the technique of assonance unostentatiously.
Line three is one of positive reassurance. Lines five and six state simply that there is a moral purpose to life.
The final line insinuates that anything less than the goal set undercuts character with the meanness of discouragement or inner resolve.
Although, poet, you really have five lines to establish poetic utterance, your repetition is greater than the sum of its parts, as it were. The final line, in this ever so small poem, has managed to carry more intellectual and emotive power than it does in line two.
There is technical skill; poetic understanding; intelligence and sensitivity to the spoken word in this beautifully crafted poem.
Lyndon of the Winklings. [If you are not a Winkler, please see the Lyndon page and join now!]
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Dear Ron, thanks to you and the judges for your esteem of this triolet. The "carefully timed" repetition is included in the form; a hazard to be negotiated.
I had no expectations and it is an honour to take the top prize. Thank you again.
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So, how did you guess the need?
Just exactly the poem I needed today.--Actually three hours ago would have been even better when the parallel assignments (One in full colour in html and the other in Allpoetry's code for the revised grammar course) went off the rails --not the html, but the finicky one. Completely LOST! I could not even begin to find it! Start again. Tired already, but students --bless them--wait and obligation weighs heavily. I just found it now, and it finally worked!
Then I came here and your poem fit so well! It will be after 1 AM when I call it a day (started before 7 this morning.)
I am going to keep a copy of this poem for tomorrow when other disasters wait. Fewer calories than chocolate! Perfect!
Terry
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Everyone has days (weeks, months) when a mistake or circumstance seems to throw all effort into question. I'm happy that what was lost was found. Thank you for your reading and applause! Good luck with your work!
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Inspirational
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Your poem brought Oscar W's words to mind. Chin up, and face the world. It's good advice for all. Of course, you'll miss any pound coins dropped on the ground..(only joking).
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I used to think that all words worth quoting came from either Shakespeare or Wilde. There are a few others, too.
Courage is essential to life - the Quakers say "discouragement is from the devil". I don't mind missing a pound here and there, if I have my eyes on a prize higher up. Thank you for your great comment and support, Keith.
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Quite a motivating poem. I thought you might have written it for your children. Simple and beautiful.
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Thank you for your appreciation. Yesterday I saw two young people walking with their heads down, and they did not see each other as they passed by in opposite directions. One was a teenage girl with a large backpack, the other was a young man with his hand in a sling. The world can give us many discouragements - we need our friends to counteract that influence.
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very good
optimism...
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Depression doesn't get one to the top of the mountain!
Thanks!
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