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[ Yonder dark night ]

Yonder dark night

subtle And yet so loud

wide open Hands to the world

with soft touch, With soft soul

held hands with this Earth, worlds open

eyes true looking once at Heaven’s earth.

 

As i stare at these faces

and Lovely different colors

understood Lies fade to truth

and the hidden Anger dies out

all born from the Hidden lies of doctrine.

 

Just human sincerity and truth

and Every inch of the human soul

precision of Happiness is honesty

and i glance at you Over a distance

are you not part of my Very touch?

are you not my truth untold Again?

or perhaps your doctrine births our Hate.

 

Good, bad, blasphemy and faith

it’s All a bit redundant, isn’t it?

you lie In all i am

And all you Are lies in me.

 

In a list

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 12 of 12

  • Embossed
    March 20, 2008
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    That's much better! I love it!

  • Embossed
    March 20, 2008

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    This is a great poem. As a personal thing, I would like it MUCH better if you hadn't highlighted the names of god but rather just had them there discretely. Nevertheless, well written.


    • Amy Meneses
      March 20, 2008
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      yea, I know what you mean. I also prefer more cryptic messages. I just wanted to make sure people catch it. :-) Do you think capitalizing the words without bolding them would be better? Hummm maybe I'll try that. :-)


  • animated lies
    March 15, 2008

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    Lovely background and a lovely poem. I love the philosophical feel to it, but I think you lost your tone in the last stanza. Thank you for sharing this with the group.


  • grannyeri gold member
    March 14, 2008

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    Very deep write you have penned here, giving us some of your thoughts on different Gods - liked the acrostic creativity you have within these lines as well.


  • Lost in a Dreamstar
    March 14, 2008
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    Great!


  • maralisa silver member
    March 13, 2008

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    a fantastic poem full of thoughts i can relate to this poem in many ways good luck in the contest and thank you for sharing this poem with the group


  • Pamela A Lamppa silver member
    March 13, 2008

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    Wonderful acrostic embedded in this beauty. Truly a deep piece, and well written to your chosen form. All those mentioned can relate to any thought, feeling, or image. Nice work with this one. ~Pamela

  • piccola silver member
    March 13, 2008

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    I don't know quite what to say because the write is so deep. Whenever we ponder God and who He is, the thinking must go deep and oftentimes it is beyond our grasp. Who better to tell about myself, than me? Or you than you? Thus we must turn to the creator Himself to learn about Him. His name, His qualities ... some say there is no God and all the splendors of the universe came about by accident. Lovely deep write Thank you for sharing with the group.


  • Wayne Leon Learmond
    January 10, 2008

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    Dark and Beautiful

    This was just fantastic writing. Very dark and deep and v very very thought-provoking too. Your words hit home in a powerful way. Well done.

    Wayne Leon


  • McRae by nature
    October 26, 2007

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    Wow, it is amazing the words you created within your test. This was quite a complex piece, but so stunning. Welcome to my finalists

    Carrie

    • Amy Meneses
      October 28, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you. I chose Yahweh, Jehovah, and Allah because the different names of a God that originated from the same God separates when perhaps they should unite. The message goes beyond that but this is one of the important factors. Also, just a note, Gaia I am referring to in the last stanza is based on the "Gaia Hypotheses" which explains that we are all part of one source and all all related and part of a soul that is greater than our individual soul. This may help to get the more complex meaning I was trying to get at. I wasn't sure if I should footnote or and anything in my authors notes or not. Thank you for your wonderful feedback. I am crossing my fingers on this one. :-)

1 - 12 of 12