So melancholy is this misty dawn
As Autumn casts her shroud in ghostly veil,
And on the crystal dew that garbs the lawn
A wary squirrel flicks his ruffled tail.
The spider's web is trembling in the breeze
That stirs the haze into a swirling dance,
Its fickle fingers searching through the trees
Whose boughs now sway as if in mystic trance.
The fall usurped the crown from summer's sun,
Who fled in exile to another realm;
Capricious autumn's reign has just begun,
Accepting homage from the bowing elm.
But the ghost of summer's sun is often seen;
It tries to snatch the crown from autumn's queen
Author notes
Shakespearean sonnet- theme, misty autumn mornings-POD
A contest entry
- Poem of the Day ( 24 Hour Quickie ) by Arkbear.
500 points, ended October 27, 2007, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - A ...=...Anything by TheAshtrayGirl.
550 points, ended March 13, 2008, 50 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
t
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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:)
Excellent
I like this alot
Short and sweet
Full of imagery also
Thankyou for entering my contest
&
Goodluck
Jaz <3 -
I'm becomming much more familiar with the Shakespearean sonnet thanks to you.
Again, a lovely job on the form, and your imagery is fantastic as usual. I do have to agree with Bear that there is an awful lot of "showing" and not much "telling" here. Normally I see the opposite, with far too many thoughts and not enough imagery. It's a fine line, and I think even more difficult to walk it in a form such as this. You know much more about this form than I do, so the only suggestion I can give is to really give the turn and those last 2 lines serious thought, and maybe incorporate the touch of "telling" there if you can. It doesn't need much, but a little would be nice.
I'm very fond of the musical quality these sonnets inspire. Even if I got no meaning or imagery out of the poem (but of course I did), I would love it for the rhythm alone.
Thank you for another fine entry, and good luck in the contest.
Best wishes,
~J. -
Brilliant write! My two favorite parts are "Its fickle fingers searching through the trees" (I can just see that giant invisible hand suspended in space, moving those twigs and branches as it flips through them--what an image!) and "The fall usurped the crown from summer's sun" (very eloquent!) I love this piece. It's so calming and beautiful! I think you may have a winner here! Terrific job!
Sheryl
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What more can I say but fantastic penninggggggggg
beautiful with image and a delight to read,
Thanks for sharing,
Love and Light
Frozentearz -
This is a truly inspired sonnet. It is so beautiful in images, words, meaning--it has everything! Good luck in the contest!
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Very nicely done.
Best wishes in the contest!
*PEACE*
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Wonderful, it installed fantastic pictures in my mind. Best of luck in the POD.
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Love the vague, gathering sentences, truly wonderful, especially the twist at the end: your style in this reminds me of Robert Browning.
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Very well written, I loved it. For a bit of constructive criticism though "Who's boughs now sway as if in mystic trance." I believe it would flow better if it were to be "Who's boughs now sway in mystic trance". Just an opinion though and again very good poem
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Hi ghostBear. If I did as you suggested then I would wreck the iambic pentameter which is a cardinal rule in Shakespearean sonnets, thank you for reading, Di
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dreamy morning
Autumn's moods here as a dreamy passage of thoughts and sights appear in this lyrical sonnet...
Lovely as the one who wrote it..master weave...
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