When ice is melting from the warmth of sun
Green leaves will sprout from branches bold
And sounds of new life will tickle your ears
delightful sight, when butterflies unfold
The time of growing into adulthood
Where beauty is spread in different ways
When young hearts leap at promising smiles
And the fragrance of roses lingers for days
The soil is wet, life's coming to its end
Slowly leaves fall, in orange brown glows
The painter of sky is busy these days
Wind's playing the drums whenever he blows
And silenced by the winter's blanket white
We'll rest our souls in peaceful candle's light
Author notes
Contest: change of seasons
http://allpoetry.com/contest/2372578
In a list
A contest entry
- A contest for Sonnets on the change of seasons ONLY by ecrivain01.
450 points, ended October 27, 2007, 11 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Oops.
I see. You mean the final line of the second stanza?
And the roses' fragrance is smelled for days
try
and the fragrance of roses lingers for days
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Thanks, didn't see your comment until now.
Problem with me is that my English vocabulary is rather limited as it comes to synonyms and all that. In Dutch I know a dozen words to express the same feeling, but it's much harder in English (well not for you of course) I think I have to study my Webster more often ha ha.
Thanks anyway for all the help.
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The final line ...
is just fine.
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Good, now I can go to bed and lay my soul to rest, because it's 3.40am overhere. How time flies when a pen is being dipped in poetical ink. Thanks again for your help.
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Okay:
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Thank you so much for taking the effort to show me what I did wrong. It's because of people like you I will be able to improve my use of the English language. I've changed the second stanza a bit, but I had difficulties with its last line. Don't know if I like it the way it is now.
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This isn't a bad write ...
although the many errors detract a lot in reading it. If one were listening to it being read, of course, most of that wouldn't be obvious and it would sound much better to me that way as well.
It seems as though you've tried to hit all seasons with one sonnet, which is a fairly major task for 14 lines. In any case, you've done fairly well with this, apart from the minor errors throughout.
Thanks for entering.
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Thanks for your comment. Don't know what errors I've made, must be grammatical I guess, due to the fact that English is not my native language.
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