The sky must have pricked at the steeple’s needle –
somewhere a witch
is rubbing her callous-thick hands together,
scritching her glee like a cricket knitting
its dry legs into song.
There is a certain sleep which is blue in colour,
and issues only from wishes or wands. (The artist’s brush
is such a wand –
the cobalt-spell, the June-sky-spell, the bottom-of-the-ocean spell -
the canvas moves with their slow swirls,
the swirl of dust motes caught in a single
Wintry slant
of light).
Author notes
I used the Van Gogh paingint posted in the contest description.
It always seems to me when I look at this painting that the steeple is pricking at the sky...from there came the whole Sleeping Beauty pricking-her-finger thing. And I thought the idea of this peaceful village being under a spell was fitting, it being almost Halloween.
A contest entry
- VanGogh (or another REAL artist) inspired by whispernthedark.
600 points, ended November 3, 2007, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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the beginning line is very definately an excellent one, I love how you have woven in the story of sleeping beauty throughout this, with the opening line being a very good example of this (opening lines are so important [to me at any rate]- they can make or break the overall flow and metre of the poem). for some reason reading this poem and relating it to the van gogh piece put me in mind of mussorgsky's music... I think it might be the contrasts of the vivid colours against the delicate and subtle picking of your language (which is beautiful, by the way).
One small thing I thought spoilt the overall effect of the poem was the repetition of 'swirl', but I don't suppose it makes a great deal of difference, and this write is still excellent
x
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Brilliant.
Really brilliant. That certain sleep which is blue - that is wonderful. Just really good. Wintry slant too. You evoke Van Gogh's work beautifully but don't to any dull, up-its-own-arse name drops. It is a gorgeous poem whether we know about the strange, starry Dutchy or not one bit.
A spell. Yes yes yes yes. Perfect word. All art is a spell. All language.
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There are some fabulous sounds in this, the witch/cricket/scritching.. is wonderfully rich when read out loud.
And I like your take on the Van Gogh.. as visually the painting has an odd October feeling to it, and the tool marks left by the brush look well... witchy .. with all the angles going about as they do, and the roughness of it..
Thank you... you added something to that for me.. and got me thinking..
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Very nice write based off of Starry Night. Thank you for entering the contest.
♥
whisper
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Oh. This is a pretty cool poem that you have going on in here. I really like this one. I read your author notes and I thought it was pretty neat that the picture made you think of pricking the sky and then the sleeping beauty story. That's what I call a creative mind. And the way that you wove your words and your images was very good too. I thought you did a great job of expressing yourself here.
. Rewarded 8
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I adore this! I also particularly like the lines:
scritching her glee like a cricket knitting
its dry legs into song.
So brilliant! It's so fitting and tangible almost in it's image and sounds....
It really does bring up Van Gogh in my mind without the notes to say so..."the canvas moves with their slow swirls, the swirl of dust motes..."
and yes, very fitting for this time of year. (my favorite time of year). It almost feels like this should be a famous scene from one of those creative children's stories...like Matilda or, dare I say it? Harry Potter. (I know you may hate this when I say that I am not a big HP fan...the book, not the sauce...I rather like the sauce) haha.
Lovely poem.
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WONDERFUL
This was such a wonderful thing to read. I can't even pick out a favorite part. It is a painting of lovely brush strokes. Ms. Morrow
. Rewarded 4
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spellbinding
a dream description, the images follow fast, from seeing we are hearing, then back into the dream. I love the confidence of "there is a certain sleep which is blue in colour" and the repetition of "S" sounds adds to the sleepy effect. Well done.
. Rewarded 4
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well done
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What a beautiful scene painted with words! Imagery at its best. No critical comment that I have to offer. Amazing work!
. Rewarded 4
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somewhere a witch
is rubbing her callous-thick hands together,
scritching her glee like a cricket knitting
its dry legs into song.
perfection of imagery,deserves to do well in the comp
. Rewarded 4
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Ooo.. - scritching! I Like that..
The whole write reeks of originality - a raging stream of ideas flowing through a virgin course..
. Rewarded 4
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I love someone who can conceptualize and really run with it...which you did beautifully. I reaaallly appreciate this piece as I am an artist myself...great imagery! You painted the picture(yes, pun intended) in my mind wonderfully. Can't wait to read more!
. Rewarded 6
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Wow... I love the way you perceive things. It's absolutely refreshing. "cricket knitting/its dry legs into song." Genious imagery. Very good all in all.
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i like how you described it, but to me it sounds kinda choppy. i do like alot of the words you used though which makes up for it.
. Rewarded 4
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Starry starry night...
Vincent Van Gogh was a brilliant artist. So are you. Yes I do compare, because I can. 'the swirl of dust motes caught in a single wintry slant of light' I loved the image you've created here. It's beautiful. Keep writing. I'd give you a gold for this.. Good luck.
. Rewarded 6
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your poem itself casts a 'spell'
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