You humans and your ceremonies!
You must dress, Eat,
invite everyone you know
whenever anything important
happens to You.
Mark the occassion!
White gowns, black veils.
Rituals rain down in the form
of maggot-shaped hail,
virgin roses cast
from the side of the mountain of dirt
that will soon conceal them,
or tap water made Holy
by words from the lips
of a child molestor.
Don't forget to replace
the Skillcraft
with an ink well and plume
no one knows how to use
(except maybe to give dear Helloise
some job security.)
The most noteworthy day
of My life
passed without a single flag
being raised or lowered
in its honor.
It was the day I stopped soul-searching
to search for my soul.
I didn't find it
in the bottom of that bottle
or the one after that
or the one after that.
It was the day I changed species,
from human to scavenger.
My rituals changed, too.
Forget bathing and toilets.
I guess the price of non-conformity
is to be Alone
treading in an amber sea.
Here's to Day 11,680 or so!
Author notes
theme: active addiction
NOTE: The true significance of Day 11,680 is that it marks the morning I woke up on the other side of the threshhold between recreational/social/even problematic using and addiction. Without taking in the sites of the journey, I had progressively isolated and estranged myself from loved ones, coming to loathe everything to do with family or community. I never saw it coming, just looked around one day to find that it had happened. (Thus, the "By Estimation" portion of the title.) I had become an animal, directed solely by the lizard in my pickled brain. I am a clean addict writing from the angle of a using one. That is to say that the voice in the poem is still deep in active addiction.
A contest entry
- Poem of the Day ( 24 Hour Quickie ) by Arkbear.
500 points, ended October 27, 2007, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Reading your poem was like being on a train, picking up speed and power as it moved along. Wonderful!
As Bear said...it's difficult to discern exactly where you are (or aren't) in sobriety just from the write, not that that has any bearing on the poem itself. I'm grateful Bear allowed you to add the author note, as it really gives me even more appreciation of the poem.
The tie between your first and second stanzas came as a surprise. It took me a minute to digest the transition, but once I did I quite enjoyed it.
I think I will let your score (revealed in the final notes of the contest) speak the rest of my thoughts about your entry. Thanks so much, and good luck to you!
Best wishes,
~J. -
Julie.....I gave permission for this Poet to add notes......as they wrote me such a long explanation and I felt it should not go to waste ~
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Nice entry ~
I do wish you had taken the time to give us more insight on this powerful write ~
Your Authors' Notes are there for good use ~
PLEASE DON NOT EDIT ANYTHING UNTIL AFTER JULIE HAS REVIEWED YOUR ENTRY......OR FACE DQ~
:)
I am not sure, if you are still an addict, and counting the days since you have used.....or the days you have been sober ~
I am a recovering addict/alcoholic....and I have over 1500 days.....so to have 11 thousand, would mean years sober......or.... you are still using....or wishing you could.....or upset that you are not able to...Hmmmmm ~
Either way.....a very powerful entry with great emotions and feelings spilling out.....I would suggest some punctuation.....but this is such a fast read, that it can only be read as such........very well done Poet...
....let's see how it scored,
Bear ~
Title 9.9
Flow 9.8
Depth 10
Theme 10
Feelings 10
Grammar 9.3
Presentation 9.4
Uncommonness 9.2
Sit & Ponder Affect 9.5
Ability to follow Rules 10
Bears Score: 97.1
Very nice score Poet ~
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Ohhhh my....
Well done!
Best of luck in the contest! And on days to come!
*PEACE*
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Powerful and meaningful. I like the way you strengthened it with counting the days. Good luck in the POD.
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Powerful and meaningful. I like the way you strengthened it with counting the days. Good luck in the POD.
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