Starlight searches
the dappled shadows
as your voice
whispers my name.
Where are the clouds,
thunder and frightening;
the pitter-patter pounding
of rain upon the noise?
Would that I could
discover un-quilled freedoms,
sending answers dancing
toward the light.
Allow myself,
to be myself,
unguarded
and loved.
Author notes
POD
A contest entry
- Poem of the Day ( 24 Hour Quickie ) by Arkbear.
500 points, ended October 27, 2007, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Your best.....but... by islekine.
600 points, ended December 25, 2007, 9 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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I am so pleased to see a trophy on this piece. Congratulations.
~Pamela 
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Thanks for your wonderful entry!
Write on!
*PEACE*
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Simply wonderful, I love the
allow myself
to be myself
So many people spend to much time trying to change someone, than finding someone they truly love to begin with.
I can not pick one part out of this I like the most, I love it all! Great write
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Poetic, moving, and eloquent! You packed in so many memorable lines: "Starlight searches the dappled shadows" (what an interesting image), "thunder and frightening" (unique and aptly put), "Would that I could discover un-quilled freedoms" (the essence of your theme). I just love this piece! My only critical suggestion would be to add punctuation to your last two stanzas. Your message is clear; but since you begin with use of commas, but end without them, it gives the poem an incongruous feel. Really nice job on this! Good luck in the contest!
Sheryl
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Beautiful
A wonderful poem, I like the thunder and frightening, very creative and works well whilst reading. I like the small sense of hope this left me with. Best of luck in the contest! -
Thunder and frightening - this phrase says more than the simple words. I actually felt that rush of angst. Nicely done.
Though this piece is sad in its longing, there is a twinkle of hope that the answers just "might" dance toward the light.
Beautifully crafted and quite touching.
Well done. ~Pamela 
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