Audacious eyes flutter
over concave hearts
conveying years' sentiments
through elongated
exploitation without words
on the third floor
aloof, vagrant
with overlapping lust.
Utterly capitulated,
exploding juices like lava
endangering your capacity
to love another like tonight,
overthrown teddies and vibrators.
Fresh ruler oversees
duties of my bedroom.
In a list
A contest entry
- Passion: 50 words or less by Lj-.
300 points, ended November 8, 2007, 8 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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I like your wording here.
In line eleven, I think 'capacity' would be better said as 'ability.'
Thank you for entering,
Best of luck.
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Ooh la la... this is very clever. It dances on the imagination of the reader with its deeply passionate imagery. Beautifully expressed leaving so much to the imagination. Love the last two lines
Great!
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Excellent
Wow, passion never was expressed more eloquently. Wonderful entry. Best of luck in the contest.
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Thank you very much I'm glad you enjoyed it.
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