It Wasn't Right

Secrets.
Lying.
Sneaking around.
Knowing it wasnt right.
He had a girlfriend
I; a boyfriend
it wasnt right.
We knew it,
but we didn't care.
He told me he loved me
and to me it was just a fling
a harmless party
and a meaningless thing.
We met in secret every night
but it started to go down hill
and we started to fight.
He started to use violence
in his actions
and words,
but apoligize
and hold me
and love me again.

He'd never hurt me intentionally;
he'd always say:
He was sick
he needed help.
He just couldnt bring himself to do it.
He couldnt
or he wouldnt
i didnt know
and back then i didnt know better
to care.
I knew it wasnt right

I tried to break it off with him,
i was moving on
from the life i'd been living
Of drugs and sex and alcohol and beer,
but he wouldnt have it.
He wouldnt hear.

Well my boyfriend left me
Im sure he knew
so I stayed while longer
trying to become again
the girl i was
and loose the girl i am.

When he hit me
I'd lie
when he'd yell
i'd cry
If he hurt me i'd tell myself
he loved me
but my heart said
it wasnt right
and my head said
it wasnt right and i just didnt understand

Today he hit me
and i fell down the stairs
I finally came to my senses
and i told him to leave for once and for all
he'd cost me enough.

I start the healing
the process
the recovery
and i hold close to the memory
of before i was who i am now
and realize that all along
i knew it wasnt right.