My past left ragged scars,
And haunting dreams,
so I built a wall,
So no one could hear me scream.
But with a sweet caress,
and a warm smile,
You broke through my wall,
Now it's nothing but a rubble pile.
In lonesome darkness I had hidden,
So I was blind to the beautiful light,
But you showed me the way,
Sprung me from my inner night.
You showed me passion,
Under starlit skyies,
The moon our only witness,
The wind muffling my cries.
Like a fiery phoenix,
I rose from the ashes of my past,
You as my glorius wings to guide me,
Together we flew so fast.
But a part of me is afraid you,
Of all these beautiful feelings,
Thinking about it makes my head spin,
And sends my world a reeling.
So I ask you to ground me,
When I start to fly into the night,
I ask that you pull me back,
But please don't hold to tight.
I ask that you don't hurt me,
Don't make me flinch away,
Please don't let me go,
Please don't let me stay.
A part of me wants to hide behind my rubble wall,
put the broken stones back together,
Because there I feel safe,
There I'll live forever.
But my heart has been awakened,
to a need that is dire,
And a deep determination,
burns like hellish fire.
So please don't break,
My fragile wings,
Please don't take away the melody,
that makes my heart sing.
All that I ask you,
Is for a little piece of your heart,
All that I ask of you,
Is to give me another start.
A part of me wants to love you,
A part of me wants to die,
A part of me wants to touch the stars,
A part of me wants to say good bye.
Author notes
I'm aligurl... And I think I'd like to be a sister.. this poem is about love, pain and how being broken before is keeping me from loving completely. I'm afraid and scared to give him all of me...
A contest entry
- No Options Any Topic!!!!!!!!!! by mattpak717.
420 points, ended November 11, 2007, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - {♥L/o/v/e&&D\a\r\k\n\e\s\s♥} by BrokenDawn.
525 points, ended November 23, 2007, 29 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - [[ Hate to Love You ]] -PW Allowed- ENTER PPL! D= by ThatONEweirdChick.
600 points, ended December 3, 2007, 40 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - **On the lookout for an AP family!** by Snow White Sorrow.
600 points, ended January 10, 2008, 23 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Valentines Day Contest by Sle3p.
355 points, ended February 15, 2008, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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Very beautiful and full of feeling. The use of words and rhythm and rhyme is beautiful. Just so elegant and smooth. The words flow together seemlessly and their meaning is quite heartfelt. Amazing job.
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Such heartfelt words you write here - liked the flow, rhythm, rhyme and message you share with readers, That saying once burnt, twice shy is true here. It is hard to love again, to trust and feel like you can let your feelings out. Congratulations on the trophies already won for this poem.
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Love it. And i know exactly how you feel. This was an inspiring, powerful and emotive peice of writing, I really enjoyed it. Keep up the good work
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i can well relate to thid piece, if you have a chance, read my piece "the wall" i''ve also written several pieces on rising from the ashes of my own distruction, like the phoenix...
"My past left ragged scars,
And haunting dreams,
so I built a wall,
So no one could hear me scream.
But with a sweet caress,
and a warm smile,
You broke through my wall,
Now it's nothing but a rubble pile.
In lonesome darkness I had hidden,
So I was blind to the beautiful light,
But you showed me the way,
Sprung me from my inner night.
You showed me passion,
Under starlit skyies,
The moon our only witness,
The wind muffling my cries.
Like a fiery phoenix,
I rose from the ashes of my past,
You as my glorius wings to guide me,
Together we flew so fast"
keep writing so very well!
mike, aka jonathan wikkins -
love it!!!
there is an old saying,
"only those who dare truly live"a famous ferrari add in the 70s
another saying that i feel is the best of them all is
life is a banquet and most people are starving to death
"auntie mame"
what i say is without pain there is no pleasure.
you must experience all the highs ans lows with true love.
then there is a wonderful calm that takes place when it is real....and you will know in yur heart when that moment arrives.
good luck my dear enjoy it all!!!
candy
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this was such a sad yet also happiness. i think that you wrote this so very well indeed at least to me anyway. This was such a excelent poem. I thank you for shareing it. i do hope that you will have a great night
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=O Wooowww!
I was truly mesmerised when I read this. So much beauty and imagery in one poem. This reflects so much talent!
A part of me wants to hide behind my rubble wall,
put the broken stones back together,
Because there I feel safe,
There I'll live forever.
I love this stanza, it's what a lot of people feel like in the world, and you have written it in such an emotional and understandable way.
Thank you for entering and good luck!
Kirsty x
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My fave part of this poem is:
"Like a fiery phoenix,
I rose from the ashes of my past,
You as my glorius wings to guide me,
Together we flew so fast."
It was very well described and had a good "image" to it. The only thing I would probably suggest is that there are some spelling mistakes in there that you can take a look at. Besides that, this is a wonderful poem so full of emotion. Well written!
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wow a very good write. It's just flowing with emotion and the rhymes are also good. I understand the pain from being hurt before that holds you back, but maybe loving that person is worth the risk? I hope you find your answer and good luck in the contest.
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I ask that you don't hurt me,
Don't make me flinch away,
Please don't let me go,
Please don't let me stay." Definatly the lines that hit me hardest. And over all i L.O.V.E.D this peice! The emotion was raw and wonderful and i love the rythm and the flow it great! Bravadoo!
~dawnX♥O
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