Did you have a daddy who whipped your little back,
while you were sound asleep to help you get on track?
It’s quite a way to wake, with sleepy boyhood eyes,
to shouts of, “god damn-it … I hate your sissy cries!”
My father was a Spartan, as I’m a Spartan son.
We shun all pain and fear, and open to no one.
If you can follow us, denying what you feel,
we’ll control anything you ever thought was real!
Did you have a pet name your daddy gave to you?
The ‘little cock-sucker’ was mine when I was two.
He never spared the ‘rod’ or spoiled his preciouse child.
But, when I was older, he said that I’d gone wild.
At the age of fifteen, when he could take no more,
he gave me one thin dime and shoved me out the door.
I never shed a tear in front of daddy’s face.
That, just would have proved ... I was a real disgrace.
No, out of Spartan pride, I never used that dime.
It’s in some cellar trunk with mildew, rot and grime.
That dime is all I’ve got for insecurity
that I’m not man enough … to love in purity.
Author notes
By: Sultan Abdul Al-Dulaimy
“ Authority that can make us deny our feelings can make us do anything " - Nanna Svendsen
My wife and I have sons. I believe, as their father, that my most important work in life is to give them the feeling -- the confidence -- that they have ‘what it takes’ to make it in this world. Unfortunately, so many men are like my poor dad. Instead of teaching our boys how to be ‘true’ men, we practice a process of teaching them to disconnect from the ‘luxury’ of feeling their emotions; and the result is anxiety-driven deep insecurity that gets passed down from generation to generation. Perhaps the most common unconscious core issue for men is feeling insecure about whether we have what it takes (strength, size, courage and skills) to 'make it' in this world in terms of: attracting a mate, fulfilling her, procreating, providing for and protecting our families. We compensate for our insecurity with things like: philandering, adrenaline addiction, pornography, workaholism, substance abuse, being engrossed in spectator sports and false masculine beliefs. These things make us feel good and forget – even momentarily -- the anxiety we have over our faceless insecurity. My own father died, all alone in his hospital bed, on New Years Eve, 1982, when I was in jail for public intoxication, assault and disorderly conduct. I want a better legacy.
A contest entry
- Learning to Love the Struggle You're In by Lyrical Rain.
450 points, ended November 9, 2007, 13 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Domestic Violence Awareness/Education--Now With A Second Option by Viyanna Rosemarie.
1250 points, ended September 21, 2008, 16 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 53 of 53
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Awesome poem you are just amazing i dont event have words for this one good job you are really good
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Okay... I forgot to add your applause and when I tried to edit they didn't take! Maybe they'll work this time!
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OMG! Reading this, I was in shock! My heart goes out to you, but strangly enough, if you hadn't have been treated like this as a child, would you have turned out like you have? I believe that everything that happens shapes us into the people we are today. For example, before my momma died, I rebeled against her. Now, because I know how precious and genuine she was, I regret ever treating her badly (as most teenagers do). Very nicely done!
As for the write itself: Grammar was spot on. Spelling was correct. Meter was perfect. With the rhyme it gave the poem a lighthearted feel... a little too bouncy for me... but it worked! Way to go!
Also, since you are the 1st entry in option 1, you receive 3 applause! The applause are for the 1st entry of each category and not for quality of work or whether or not I liked it. Personally, I think it deserves it! Very nicely done and thank you for entering my contest!
~*DJ*~
P.S. Thank you for following the rules and good luck!
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It is always amazing to me when I read a write such as this and then go on to read of how the author has forgiven his/her tormenter.
You speak of your father with no anger.
I again, am moved very much so by another of your poems.
The content is touching and you are very brave to have penned such a piece.
The execution of the write is awesome!
The rythm and rhyme flows from one line to the next and is written with creativity.
Thanks for another great one!
Blessings to You and Yours.
You are truly and inspiration, I am sure your family is very proud of you!
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Such a sad peom, relating thoughts of childhood, one that was not very much fun, by the sounds of it. Does this make one strong and more desirous to make more of themselves? Liked the flow, the rhythm, rhyme and message shared here. Liked your author notes, as they explain how you feel about it all and how youo hope to be a better father than your father was to you.
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I was raised in an atmosphere of love and care at home, fighting I learned in the streets later and in schools of martial arts. My children I raised in love, patience, being very careful to 'correct' since I always believed that there might be precious lessons contained in the views of young ones for 'educated' adults to learn. Today I tremendously enjoy the wisdom and sincerity of my offspring, their compassion and wit. Home should be a place where we feel safe and free to exchange feelings and thoughts in order to find the proper path to walk through space and time, fighting aptly if necessary, applying our compassionate talents where ever and whenever possible. Thank you for creating and sharing. Take care,
U
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fantastic
a well written work of art. keep writing, and thanks for sharing.
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Not just men
good pome but i found myself thinking about my mouther through the whole thing the only difrence is that men push you away women never let go. sorry about the pome good all the way around my only complanit is that you cant feel the pain while reading you can feel anger, fear, even hate but no pain and it should be thear i think but thats just my thoughts
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Very touching
My dad wasn't the greatest father either. I can really relate to this poem because of the way I grew up. I think living through tough a tough childhood really makes us more aware of how we want to raise our children. It really motivates us to be better parents to our children than ours were to us. Congrats on an awesome write
~Jill
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The final stanza closes the piece with power and poignancy...both appropriate to this poem.
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excellent writing! How very sad though
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This was a grand write! I can relate to most of this poem, being sent to an orphanage due to abuse. You took the emotions straight from both of our souls. Very deep and true. Awesome poem!
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Very deep and intense.
In this you depict the abuse that far to many parents inflict on thier young. If only they could see that they are destroying the lives that they brought into the world maybe it would make a difference. The thing is that it is not only fathers that abuse thier children but mothers as well. So many are in too much of a hurry to get these children to grow up and get out of thier hair and don't let them be children with all the joy that should go with that age. I am not sure which is worse the physical, mental or emotional abuse for they all leave indelable marks on these children that even time can't erase. You have done a remarkable poem on this subject. Good luck in the contest.
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Your poem reminds me at my own father.Confronted,but it shows only your talent.Your last stanza impressed me to most.Really good writing!But how true you are!In your poem I see my own struggle.Thank you for sharing it!
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thank you my lgacy is better than yours, but my father was like yours. had mamny whippings or beating with leather belt, as well as cussings. I swore as a child, i would never ever do that to a child of mine.to this day, I have kept that promise. Mother died when i was 6, and thats when the hell began. thanks for the bad memories.
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Nice
This is very well written, it was honest and spoke with true human spirit and emotion. It often the role of the father to stern like that especialy with their sons, I guess they know what the world expect from a man. But this was a very good poem and enjoyed it alot, best of luck to you in the contest you entered.
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Heartfelt Penning
I'm so so thankful that i decide to click on your feature piece, otherwise I would have missed such depth of sharing, honest courage. This is such a well stated piece, you have shared with us. Your title, is well place.Great read, write, thanks fo aallowing ...us it to be share in the reading of your penning.
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The way the poem is written does not depict harshness as the father has displayed. The poet did not impose self-pity at all but such honesty that tugs the reader's heart. Indeed an emotional write. Well done too on the rhymes and rhythm. Good luck.
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This is really well written, it's emotional, and contains not just fantastic elements of poetry, but elements of a story with a revelation and such emotional depth. This is quite spectacular
x
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I respect the honesty you put into this piece. As an expression of self this is marvelous. As a poem, I'm not sure I like it. Stay away from overusing weak words and phrases like 'little' , 'pride', and 'sound asleep'. There are better ways to describe things and I'm sure you're creative enough to find them.
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oops !
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Forceful
i am so deeply thankful to read this poem, and see how much a man can change ... a true man, who recognizes the damnation of a bad way and designs for himself and family, remarkably, contrarily, an immeasurably better way- WOW-I think the poem has such penetrating insights into your father and yourself, and you weren't afraid to share them here-this is soooo good and so inspiring, even though it's a rather dark poem. Still, it ends with hope, that the only thing you have left of the insecurity is the rotten dime buried away-so you have the confidence that you do indeed "love in purity". Yea and Amen. -
This poem truly touched me. Sounds like you had a rather horrific childhood, and have managed to pull your life together, and overcome the adversities. For that, I commend you greatly. I also respect you for being able to talk so openly about what I would think is still a painful subject. Good Luck to you in the contests, and I know you'll do right for your wife & sons.
Take care and be safe.
~Monica
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At least you are not as harsh as your father. Okay it's in his blood to be strict but strictness and cruelty are two totally different things. I am glad you didn't use anything of his, not because it would make you a disgrace, because it would've been him winning and that wouldn't be good. A braver man though will show weakness. Do you think anyone on earth doesn't cry sometime in their life? They certainly fear, I tell you that! Showing no emotions makes you not a human, trust me. Not to say you should go crying to your next door neighbour but don't fear emotions, they are natural. Sorry you had to suffer at your fathers hands. Good luck with your wife and kids though!
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Interesting insight
...into the life of another. My dad, although strict, was fairly judicious in his punishment. One day when I was about 10 or so, I sassed my mom in his earshot. He came charging into my room and smacked me off my feet. I fell to the floor and curled into a ball, he swung again, and the pencil I had sticking out of my back pocket went an inch into the meat of his hand! That pissed him off, but he was bleeding pretty bad and had to leave me be for the time being so he could go remedy himself! I thought it was poetic justice at the time, and although I'm not proud for having been a mouthy teen, I still look back at the incident with a bit of a wry smile.
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Powerful!
I'm so glad I clicked over to read this. Thank you!
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That dime is all I’ve got, for insecurity,
that I’m not man enough … to love in purity.
Author notes
Indeed a verse from the pure son as well as the mature father...welldone..
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wonderful
what a neat write
in perspective to your author's notes
it shows people can change
i was drawn by the title
it's a shame this is your father's legacy
but
amazing you have rewritten yours
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awesome
I have been married for several years to a man who has severe issues in his life, a lot due to his own fathers issues. Your poem was incredible, but even more so for what you wrote after it. Men can talk about their feelings, and they can be great people. As a female, in my own life experiences I for a long time never believed men had feelings at all. My own father never expressed anything aside from anger. The rest was being a sissy. Its so sad. I so hope your own sons grow up to be awsome people. They seem to have a way better chance than a lot of boys. Hang in there! It looks like you have overcome a lot. My heart goes out to you and your family.
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This was wrote from the heart of the child who became a better man than his father .
It really broke my heart because i never understood why it was wrong for boys to cry or show emotion like they aren't supposed to!!!
Matter of fact i don't trust a man who cant cry .
Also i am sorry you had to endure what you did but you my friend broke the circle of abuse from being just the opposite of your father for that you should be proud!
People listen when someone tells you spare the rod spoil the child , it doesn't mean what you think . A rod was used by Sheppard's they didn't beat the sheep , they took the rod(Staff) and when one way going the wrong way they gently put the rod beside them as to turn them back to them .
Guiding them not hitting them!
This was a awesome write and heartfelt.
~Lisa~
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I liked the way you wrote this one from the heart yet with a bit of distance between you and the subject. (without all the rage that many sometimes write with.)
Thank you for shareing. -
you break my heart with this....
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Great write, really raw and emotional. Kudo's for writing this.
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Well Penned!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Is this piece of poetry and a story all wrapped up into one great writing. You don't have to worry, just by the way you write and want to provide a better way of life for your family, you have already changed your legacy as well as your destiny!!!! SO amny just grow up and repeat the cycle and you found the strength and courage to change because God gave you a caring heart, a loving heart and even the devil himself cannot penetrate that kind of goodness and love!!! Great job of expressing yourself , I grew up in the same situation of physical abuse so Iknow how it feels, it started when I was fourth grade until I was out of High school!!!Thanks for sharing and may God bess you and your family!!!~~Toni~~
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vry revealing and intensely shared...you sure have to work at a loving legacy, and i am sure you do, thanks for sharing ....ppg
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Very well penned piece here
You captured all the aspects of what to do and not to do and sometimes you will even hear the parent sai I am doing the best I can yet if he wasnt taught any different you can see where he is coming from . Sad indeed that they work so hard to ignore what is right before them and that is their family and never knowing how much easier it would be to love .
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crap
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Amen , Wonder full poem and your author comments i believe whole heartedly them people these days teach their children no respect or morals, and love. it is sa
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me likes
amazing write, i think so many people can relate to this. tough love i fear sometimes may be too tough. in fact in your case it seems it went way beyond that. it's almost unthinkable that one could do such things to one's own child.
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It's so unfortunate, isn't it?
My father was somewhat the same, believed in corporal punishment and had a hard time expressing feelings. I was fortunate that I was a girl though even that was difficult sometimes. My brother is having a rough time right now.
The first few verses made it sound almost like you approved of your father's methods. No, maybe I'm wrong about that. Let's say, maybe you didn't altogether disapprove. It's very well expressed and there is something about it that reminds me of Kipling.
I am so glad my father was a bit less severe than his father had been, so glad times have changed somewhat.
Good luck on the contest.
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Heart breaking
I to had an abusive father and so this really touches me. my father never got the chance to throw me out because he died when I was ten. Did did an excellent job with your rhyming as well. I was not at all what I expected when I read the title. Please keep writing you are awesome at expressing yourself.
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first... may i add this to my list of favorites by AP poets? no hard feelings if you'd rather i didn't. my list will show up under your poem
this really, really hit home with me. like many other people i had a father with issues. though he was not physically abusive he was verbally abusive. he now has Alzheimer's and it hasn't improved his issues any. just yesterday i got back from a visit with him. it was rough. he never learned how to listen and now it's worse. if only he had learned what you've learned. all he knows is what his father taught him.
your wording couldn't be any closer to perfect. the rhyme is dead-on. your author notes show much wisdom. i admire and respect that you are breaking a cycle. "I want a better legacy" says it all.
i wish it was possible to give more than three clappies
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exceptional write
Though I liked the entire write that you have written, there is a stanza that stands out to me most, and it would be this one:
Did you have a daddy who whipped your little back,
while you were sound asleep, to help you get on track?
It’s quite a way to wake, with sleepy little eyes,
to shouts of, “god damn-it … I hate your sissy cries!”
I think the entire poem is really well written, and I thank you for writing and posting this read.
Julzzz
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Perfection
Wow this poem is absolute perfection... I like the name cause I didn't expect this and you know what theres an anger I feel when I read it. I never really had it like that but my father did beat me. He just didn't know when it was for most things normal lol but I'm girl so I figure it was more to keep me down and away so that I would not dare go out and do anything or else lol I can laugh now cause I don't live with him. Anyways I'm glad you have a family of your own to love and treat them the way you should have been treated. XD
~Kimber
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i wish i had a father Like you though i dont COmplain being a son of the father i have but then the poem is very well written good choice of words and Amazing description of a hard hitting message
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Wow this is amazing, a Fantastic write, very well writen. Also theres a lot of meaning, Its very sad.
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well done spoken from an age of physical discipline and boys behaving a certain way, denial of feelings, yes... and a long shadow over the lives of adult men, trying to understand the need to connect...so very well done here...PK
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child abuse of any form sickens me. i am sorry that this happened to you. thank you for trusting us here at allpoetry.com enough to release some of your pain and memories to us. i wish you well in this contest that you have entered and on all your future writings. viyanna rosemarie
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Another brilliant write!!!
Authority in some people's hands turn out to disaster!!!
I am so sorry that you have had to love like this, on the other hand - I think you turned out quite well!!!
My mother always says:
"It is not what has happened to you that should matter, but what you are going to about it. That matters!"
I strongly believe that you took that bad experience and turned it around for the better! That takes character and strong will!!
I salute you my friend!
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I think your experience as a child made you an A one daddy! A daddy that every child should have. Great write! My mom and dad cussed me also, but I was a wicked child who they had to run down and catch before whipping. I rarely got whipped because I was hard to catch.
Smile,
Judy
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Wow that is a great poem. It reads well and rythmic. And has great meaning. That dime is very symbolic. This story is so sad. Great job.
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Wow, powerful!!!
Probably tragically true...sorry. P.
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I can't imagine calling that a "nickname" , as I tend to think of a nickname as something endearing and loving
. What hell you must have lived through [yet it seems as if you are the one who came out on top] Spartan Pride maybe? Something else strikes me as sort of odd...you call him "daddy". There is a saying "any man can be a father , but not every father is a dad". I hope you have forgiven your father [it is a hard thing to do] but keeping the bitterness in our heart keeps us from valuing ourselves, and that is something we all deserve to do , regardless of what someone else tried to take from us [you have to reclaim your self worth] but I have a feeling that you have
z
reenie
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