Dead leaves fall slowly,
trees gnarl and twist.
What you thought were shadows,
no longer exist.
Mind writhing in turmoil,
depression begins to take hold.
Icy winds cut like a knife,
you're left out in the cold.
Soul does tear in two,
as heart begins to slow.
Would they even notice,
that you've decided to go?
Haunted whilst awake,
the cold begins to spread.
Now is the time, you know,
you may as well be dead.
Life force ebbs away,
crimson fluid escapes.
The shadows in your mind,
begin to form, take shape.
Numb, you feel nothing,
despite the razors sharp.
Sliced through so easily and
now has stopped your heart.
Author notes
MCR
A contest entry
- suicide poems that don't suck by aeolia.
380 points, ended January 1, 2008, 104 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Your Death by Beating.
450 points, ended November 30, 2007, 21 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything and everything! by My Selfish Romance.
300 points, ended January 26, 2008, 97 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ...Suicide (cutting)... by xXsoulxcollectorXx.
450 points, ended February 28, 2008, 49 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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This is a beautiful poem. Much luck in the contest.
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Numb, you feel nothing,
despite the razors sharp.
Sliced through so easily and
now has stopped your heart.
my favorite lines!!!thank you for entering the contest!!! -
Wow this is intense and sincere Rivetting as always!!Imagery is flawless.
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Great write. Very vividly written. It's like you can feel and see what is happening. Thank you for entering my contest.
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Judge Says
There's something about this poem that haunts me after I read it. Haunts me in a good way though. I enjoyed this. The stanzas are very smooth. Thank you for entering. Good Luck.
~Dommi -
nice poem and good choice of title too.
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oh wow. this is really well written.
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very well written. The rythm is perfect, and its hard to find any flaws in your rhyming. You definitely painted the scenery of your story, and I could see it all as it happens. Good job!
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Very nicely done!
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Very well done!
I'm not fond of "pain" poems, but in this case...it's a very chilling write.
Write on! Best of luck in the contest!
*PEACE*
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A perfect flow to it. One of my fav things is Imagery and this was packed with imagery
Thank you and Good Luck
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well done
thanx for the comment btw.
it flows beautifully even though the content is the opposite to me. good imagery enjoyed how it was very graphic -
perfect flow a very smooth read and a great use of imagery!wisinald
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Brilliant!
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