Stepping stones crack under the weight of contradictions.
Swallowing pennies like jagged pills and ripping rubble,
the ink is yet to dry but time capsules are buried.
Mud castles decorate bones,
calling for layers of headstones.
Hoarse whispers shatter anniversaries,
teeth grind on early morning dew
and peel away the breathless sigh.
Author notes
Prompt::
"Built Me Up In Your Wishing Hell"
A contest entry
- Round Two by AshliiAsphyxiation.
300 points, ended October 26, 2007, 3 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Cleaning out the closet [My Favourites Only] by Naridill.
425 points, ended November 9, 2007, 38 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Honesty would be lovely
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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Of course I have read this piece, maybe I should've commented on it
But I was in the same rounds competition 
It is divine, as you are
Thanks for entering and much luck ~~~!
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great great GREAT write i loved it && cant wait to read more of your work !!!!!
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hi, i like your page and poems. by
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This is awsome. I had some weird image of a pile cupcakes, but none the less. Well done. I loved the second line 'Swallowing pennies like jagged pills and ripping rubble' it's still smwimming in my head.
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Enthralling
Just because a poem is a little disjointed doesn't mean it doesn't have much to recommend it. I LOVE your usage of words, everything seems just so right. I do have to admit I didn't quite get what it was about, but so what? This was a delightful poem, you have real talent and by the way, I have mental health issues, too and I'm glad to hear that you've been 'up' for a while. If you choose poetry as a career, i think you will succeed.
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DAMN! This is awesome... as usual. I dunno though... this is exceptionaly awesome. I mean all of your poems are the shit but this one is even better I think. Awesome job Hell. Congrats on the gold as well.
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Garrr, forgot the applause.
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This was so beautiful, hun. So descriptive, with so much imagery; it creates such vivid picture. The last line was pure perfection - I love the thought of peeling away a sigh, it just sounds so lovely (in a dark way )
Good luck in the contest, and beautiful poem
Jeanette*~ -
baby just to let me down...
nope no letdown here... nice
hoarse whispers is brilliant
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The first stanza was mind-blowing, and the rest didn't disappoint at all.
I've missed your writing! Thanks for sharing this, babe. It's wonderful. &Best of luck in the contest! -
Wonder as always from that pen of yours!
Brilliant first stanza hun!
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sorry, here's APPLAUSE! lol.
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i loveeee this.
i really enjoy the opening lines,
quite beautiful! =D
ily!♥ -
Very strong piece! I like how I am being catapulted by the images drawn. In its conciseness, you have shown me an unforgettable space within your words.
Wonderful my friend.
Stain me more with your ink
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FUCKING YES!
i could not wait for this entry
i was like "omg omg omg omg" when i saw u entered.
haha
i think this is absolute brilliance babes.
your awesome.
RUN AWAY WITH ME
i love u more than badley sung opera.
xxxx
♥
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