Tears in mother's eyes,
she cries, for her brother dies-
I can do nothing.
I must shed no tears,
must be the strength, cure her fears-
and yet I can not.
Author notes
Self explanatory
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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It is rather peculiar to see the 'twin haiku' (for I'm suspecting that was your intention)form - it is interesting how it maintains the breve, concise format of haiku but allowed you to express so much more than a single haiku.
As far as impression goes, I am for sure impressed. The double third verses of helplesness (3rd & 6th) carries a particularly poignant emotion in them. Quite amazing!
. Rewarded 8
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bravo!
excellent write...such a wonderful job! it reminds me of my poem that i wrote about my nana and how i too didn't want to cry in front of everyone cos i needed to be strong...i understand where this poem is coming from and i think you did a marvelous job! its shortness doesn't mean that it can't be as powerful...you showed your power...keep up the good work!
. Rewarded 6
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well done
good economy of words allows full impact
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Powerful!
This poem is simple in form but so very moving. I love the careful choice of words and the layman's translation of a grieving heart. I think what made me truly feel this poem was the ending:
"I must shed no tears,
must be the strength, cure her fears-
and yet I can not."
This is a powerful ending and subdues the reader's emotions to no end. Wow, you have really captured my attention and my heartfelt compassion. I could sit here and pick apart how wonderful this is, but instead I will end here and just say "Thank You" for sharing this. It is really raw and powerful. Cheers.
. Rewarded 8
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Helpless of ours when someone beloved is suffering from inexplicable grief is something unavoidable... Only on such moments, we would feel more insecure... This small poem conveys your emotional blend of love, care, helping nature, parental love and more and more...
Thanks for sharing...
Love
-Kiddy
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Strong
so true
i understand where you're at completely
and it sucks
but keep on pulling through
even until then
your writing some fantastic poetry
keep it up
. Rewarded 4
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short but packed with emotion!
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WoW this is so sad.
I can so very much relate to this touching piece of poetry.
I have been in your shoes and I know how it feels.
Great job...
loveandblessings2u & yours always
Joyce
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This short poem does hold power. I think that most people can relate to this and pause at the end to reflect. Very effective.
. Rewarded 4
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ah~..
my heart dropped and i felt that gravitational force shivering me down...truly i couldn't have said so much with so little...
my heart goes out for the writer to have becoming the shoulder and also to the mother who has to go through life's' cycle harshly -
honest
This felt like it was longer than it really was. You said so much in very little words. Beautiful.
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very 'few' words. sorry, I couldn't let it go.
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Wow this is soo heart wrenching. It is also very relatable as i think that most people at some time or another we have all tried to hide our feelings in order to be the strength for others. It is a hard to be a rock for others while every ounce of you is aching and dying inside unable to release our greif and mourn.
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This poem really moves me. The fact that the mother is so sad and can cry...Yet you cannot cry, you have to be her support...moving...beautiful!
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