"I infer that I grasp you "
Ah! You voiced it: I listened it, I relished it,
survived with it, cherished it, cheered, sanctified.
Slept years with you, whole life, dedicatedly ; but ah!
Now you say that you were mistaken.
Author notes
Prompt...
"Just as beautiful as you are
It's so pitiful what you are
Should have seen this coming all along."
-Beautiful: 10 Years
A contest entry
- [Blank Verse] by Ernest Hemingway by rufina caraid.
475 points, ended October 31, 2007, 10 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Family Disappointments by aboomer.
525 points, ended April 14, 2008, 22 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - CALLING OUT KINGS AND QUEENS OF POETRY !!! CHALLENGE FOR YOU SHOW US YOUR AMAZING WORK !! by the charmed one.
610 points, ended November 12, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 36 of 36
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good poem . thank you for entering
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Awesome job on that prompt. I must say that I really like that picture you picked with it. Fits the poem.
Thanks for your entry!
Kari -
I love the emotional expression in this piece. Wonderfully composed and very strong. Beautiful, and love the graphic. Thanks for your entry
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Well if that doesn't cut to the core!! WOW!! I love this!! Written in a very interesting way but in such a way that it delivers a powerful punch to the reader!!! Vert well done and thank you for your entry!
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good write
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Such a strong, emotive piece, with a sad ending.
Exellent thoughts and images you have presented
Thank you for your entry
Gaylene
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loved this!
Wow! Gripping and emotional!
I very much enjoyed this...
Best of luck my dear
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Still a strong, emotive write. I like the new inage you've placed with the words. Peace, Rhonda
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Well, different people do have different ways of looking at things, perhaps most of all in relationships. It can make things difficult.
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Congrats on the well deserved trophy on this! Well said in just a few lines. Unless I'm reading it wrong, though, it refers to a marriage - but maybe you are the child that saw and went through these emotions?
Well done
thank you for your entry
best wishes
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this very powerful! i realy liked the imagery! i wish you the best of luck in the contest!
NineTailedFox -
Oh wow my friend, this one says so much. I like how you have structured it. I felt a bit of a drum beat behind the words
Cindy
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Your voice I hear clearly
I can hear you saying this right infront of me. A strong voice with emotion, tinged in hurt. Together we are stronger. I am honoured to see that you like my work too
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I really like this. It has actually a lot of meaning in it with so few words! Excellent job! = )
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awww this was a sad one for me...but packs a punch...sadly,I can relate too well to this one had this happen to me...excellent ~blessings to you always~ Trisha
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This is so beautiful and sad.As a lot of things from the heart are.
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This is great
I really liked this, it's really short, but it gets the point across very well.
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Wow, very deep. And I really like the form. Thank you.
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AWW this is soo sad...and good but sad....
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Powerful last line. I liked the list here. Congrats on the silver, I'll check out the poem that inspired this now.
Thanks for your comment.
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Excellent
Isn't this short but to the heart piece of poem. I love it; a few words but rich and deep and how this intense deep strong relationship ended with one simple word say a lot about how complexed were your feelings at that moment.
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love that has been lost
a broken heart is such a sad part of life
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O Forgotten Garden has summed it up in her review. how I can relate to this one after giving precious years away for no good cause yet I am still trying to grasp it.
smile,
Judy
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Unfortunately, this write poses true for more people than not. It is heart wrenching when you know you've given precious years of your life to someone and they up and leave for no other reason than "I fell out of love". I hope things get better for you. This is a very effective poem. I didn't see the last part coming!
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Oh, wow. You like... so caught my attention with that first line. I was so caught up in it that I would have read this if it were longer.
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This led me too a spectacular ending. I didn't see it coming to that end but how profound. Nicely done. ~ Mykeee
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I remember this contest, and I avoided it. LOl.
You have a tense issue in your last line, I think it should read: [Now you say that you were mistaken]. Good job, very succinct, I like that in a poem. Thank you for entering my contest, and good luck. Matt
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saddening tone, such impassioned wording... a wonderful piece!
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Excellent poem good luck in the contest second chance at gold congratulations on the previously won silver
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Oh my, this is excellent. Very well done. ~Pamela
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I like this, the final line of course just screams sadness and disappointment. thanks for your entry. Von
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I liked this a lot.
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this is full of so many messages and such an empty feel, resignation? well-worded, short and powerful.
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Holy Cow my friend. This one blew me away.
GREAT job here. EXCELLENT actually.
Very impressive. Thanks for sharing and best wishes to you in this contest.
tory
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very good
crisp and powerful. wonder whether anyone else can say this in a better way. it's the sea of difference between two worlds that you are talking about i guess. congrats and best regards
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You've done quite well with the contest requirements. This even feels like something Hemingway would have written, when one considers his(Hemingway's) life. I like the line's at the end, "Slept years with you, whole life, dedicatedly; but ah! Now you said that you were mistaken", effectively portrays the disappointment and unhappiness at the 'voiced' revelation. Good luck in this contest. Peace, Rhonda
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