The leaves may turn in the fall,
Their color mimicking a deep red;
Same way your lips shine in the night
And I taste the nicotine in your kisses,
the smoke in your hair.
The snow may fall in the winter,
Stealing the footprints from me as I walk;
Same as your eyes seize my soul
With every glance you cast my way,
sparkling white and blue.
Sweet honeysuckle blooms in spring,
The dew casting a new glow about the air;
Same as your arms wrapped around me
In the chilly early morning when I wake,
Your breath humid on my cheek
The sun shines adamant in the summer,
Reddening the skin of newcomers;
Same as the way you adore me
Forever more burning breathlessly for me,
Never failing to leave me paralyzed.
Author notes
Something new and different. I don't know, please give me an honest critique?
A contest entry
- Pimp up my honorable mention or trophyless by leander.
400 points, ended December 4, 2007, 86 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Almost Anything Goes by bloodletter68.
300 points, ended March 13, 2008, 132 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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I really like the imagery that you've managed to capture within the lines of this poem
Almost every single line was a visualisation of something and I really do like that
Great metaphors and the few alliterations are a nice touch of detail too
Thank you for entering this contest, I wish you the best of luck!
Leander -
"The snow may fall in the winter,
Stealing the footprints from me as I walk"
That line is AWESOME.
Idk, but I think its really pretty and I loved it.
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I like this.
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I really really like it! I liked the words you used; they paint a beautiful picture!
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i really like it!!
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Oh my gah.. lana i abso-freakin-lutly LOVE this it is amazing, so descriptive i really lvoe it
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