i melt into the silence,
quick cartwheels up/down/into the black
without a hint of what’s to come.
my mind is
white noise
crackling static and
you are a bystander, not so innocent, but
almost, tiptoeing through my dreams,
avoiding the cracks carefully and
losing your feathers as you go.
{you know those nightmares I told you about,
that I whispered in the parking lot?
this is one of them}
and the dark has never seemed darker than when
it touches your whitewhite hands,
now so stained by me, a sometime disaster,
only biding my time before the next hurricane
washes me clean of
petty.sin.ful(l).wounds, blood.lily.memories, most regrettably, you,
and
leaves me raw for the next bandage angel to come along.
it’s not so glorious,
no beautiful mess here, no tower, only a withered Rapunzel
baby, i will break you, if you let me,
i will bring you to your knees with the weight of my transgressions,
and you will take every rancid ounce of it gladly,
compassionately, and i will let you
in this story, the damsel is the distress
climb carefully, prince charming,
not all that glitters is gold,
including this blackening hair,
half pulled out from so so so many would-be rescuers.
climb cautiously, and shoot down even slower
I can break even the brightest stars
Author notes
It's been a while since I've written anything dark, so naturally, this is a little darker than I'm actually feeling- it just felt soooo good to get it out.
be honest, like I said, it's been a while
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Quickly cartwheeling images
Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your bandages, please; and let go of them when they are fully unwound. Otherwise, you are that species of spider who eat her mates.
I didn't find it 'dark' at all; but an accurate picture of certain personality types; and reflective of the stupid, and sin.ful(l) situations we can get ourselves into most easily.
Technically, I liked the switch from one state of mind and type of communication to another. Very effective pictures indeed.The fairy-tale metaphors were appropriate, and I feel were not over done.
Some very moving lines. 'only a withered Rapunzel' I liked best.
The abrupt, staccato lines and mixed styles supported the dreamlike quality well.
Too many people have 'bandage angels', and therefore never heal the underlying 'disease'. Treating the wound as if it only needed tender bandaging is delusional at best.
And the bandager is another personality type well drawn, even if only in outline. The rescuer, that white knight that you will so easily destroy once the bandages have taken away the sting of your last failure.
You get 3 claps indeed.
I hope the guy was thoroughly warned off!
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Thank you!!
.:Marie:. -
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OutsidetheMirror
G'day Marie,
I really did appreciate the style of your poem, it wasn't bandaged up; but well thought out and constucted.
JG
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Gracefully Written
I really liked the part "Baby I will break you,if you let me. Great work, wonderful flow and so gracefully written. Good Luck and God Bless!! -
hey you. i havent talked to you in ages. but this is so good. i love it / you. xox
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Nicely done. I especially liked these parts:
baby, i will break you, if you let me,
i will bring you to your knees with the weight of my transgressions,
in this story, the damsel is the distress
and
I can break even the brightest stars
These lines seemed well-thought-out and I just enjoyed them overall.
Keep it up!
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Yes it is a bit dark,
but a very good read.
I love the style you wrote in,
has a pretty good flow.
Great job.
I enjoyed.
loveandblessings2u & yours always
Joyce
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amazing
the prince charming reference is amazing
well done!
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