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ravished

i wore ill-fitted suits
rigid down each vertebrae

dressed for you
because you liked men
less cavalier
more self-involved

 

you pinned me

to your apartment floor

with patient fingers

 

and a nimble tongue

that whispered

fuck me

 

no

fuck was such a

pretty word

 

you wanted to be 

ravished

torn skin from bone

 

i dressed you in

the loveliest spines

 

you tore buttons

from my collar

breathily

 

with teeth

 

the world caught fire

and your legs

broke under

my pressure

 

embers were the

freckle on your thigh

 

stoked

 

i slid myself into you

with spiny rigidity

taking your

pain for granted

 

to ease my lack

thereof

 

i can still feel

red skin

touching mine

in the ice-fire

of our crossed forms

Author notes

ûndecimus, dressed in spines

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Comments

1 - 16 of 16
  • Rowan gold member
    November 12, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    fuck is a pretty word, isn't it? lol.
    I take it you had your, 'nay' in lieu of the now 'no'?
    It's hard to pull off a word like nay, kinda like thus, or thou.
    A very steamy write, that brought some vivid, and welcomed memories back to life. Thanks.
    I liked this.


  • ScarletO gold member
    November 12, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Superb!


  • SugarCandyKittyKat
    November 12, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Dang,gorgeous....


  • purpledragonfly
    October 26, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    def. a ds piece wonderfully done masterpiece!


  • HorrorFiend
    October 26, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    i dressed you in
    the loveliest spines

    OMG!!- For the record I never use that phrase but this definitely deserves an OMG.

    You create such beautiful imagery full of interesting metaphors.
    I am in love with this poem.


  • birch
    October 26, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    i dig this a lot. but , you said "nay." i had to laugh at that. dusty

    • lee-sharp
      October 26, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      no one seems to like that word. i suppose i must change it.


      • birch
        October 26, 2007
        Edit | Reply
        that would be my only suggestion. mostly because it is a great write, and we see you in it in a sense. just not naked, barhar. but the nay then makes me think of this girl getting poked by a viking.


  • layla.
    October 25, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    nice work!

  • vertigo beat
    October 24, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Much better. Yup, you're a m a z i n g .


  • tara wilson gold member
    October 24, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    "i dressed you in
    the loveliest spines"
    beautiful..

    Love this - the whole poem

  • Melissa Gayle gold member
    October 24, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    see now i remember the beginning - and now we are all new...

    maybe lose the 'and' in stanza two?

    love the 'ravished skin to bone'

    hot damn this is saucy.

    didn't like the 'nay' in the piece but thats so damn little.


  • pointlessdayz
    October 24, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    this is amazing.

    I dont really know what to say other than you have left me speechless.


  • 2lullabyhaven
    October 24, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Ah, so this is my upline, my referral pattern, let's hope...I can do anything of this stature

1 - 16 of 16