With toss of froth,
spume splashed, spreads
dancing in a bedroom sea,
light slitted by shadows from blinds
the morning finds you with me.
Sea shell caught in seaweed strands.
Coral reefs, fishes bright, flashing
fingers comb the sands. Laughter
culls the morning rise, light dances
in our eyes. Hands cavort with rushing waves.
Sea salt aroma, dolphins play, glistening
skin slides sinuous, slippery against
wonder, wild winged, wishes willful
lips that linger, touching tongue
to the watery red light, calling
from dawn ~ morning has come.
As we shift and slide in our frolic,
breezes caught for our breaths,
we drink in the course of waves,
the coming rise of tides, blue black
deepening water as landscapes
disappear under our needy sheets.
Your sails freed from the wind,
collapse against the mast,
hawsers come free . The bottom
aground amidst sandy pleas,
as the last frothy wave splashes you
against me. The day is born out of dreams,
restores the color stolen by the night. I
discover how full the arms of my shore
are with the musky toss of you.
10:37 AM
10/24/07
Alexandria HD, VA
Author notes
Something bright and smiling to welcome your return.
A contest entry
- show me again by slipperssun.
800 points, ended October 26, 2007, 25 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 55 of 55
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A nice poem
An art in the poem. Bare mind won't understand it much. It was nice to read on the poem. I am a beginner so there's much to learn for me! Read one of my Poems! "The shameful Heart Galore". Its also all about love. Well I would really give applaud to this poem!
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Thanks for taking the time to share your thoughts about this poem. I try to let the metaphors hold the thoughts and carry the joy. I will check out your poem sometime soon. Love, Tom B.
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wow
This is incredibly beautiful. You did an excellent job of following through with the metaphor and imagery, up until the very end. I love your word choices and your long, flowing stanzas.
Very well written. Very sensuous.
Amazing!
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Thank you. This was a watery dream and rather than try to stop it, I just let it expand to its full size. Thanks for taking such pleasure in the lyricism and my desire to paint the scene rather than leave you with just the bones to chew on.
Love, Tom B.
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WOW.. that is a beautiful write i felt it as i read it... i loved this stanza. really draws you in
Sea shell caught in seaweed strands.
Coral reefs, fishes bright, flashing
fingers comb the sands. Laughter
culls the morning rise, light dances
in our eyes. Hands cavort with rushing waves.
Thanks for the entry into my contest and i wish you well...
cheers
Jen
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Thanks, Jen. I hope the day is bright and the world joyous for you.
Love, Tom B.
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Excellent alliteration with exhilarating metaphors. I enjoyed this and the picture that was conjured up inside my mind's eye. Thank you so much for sharing this beauty with me. All the best in the contest Tomis
Much love & Many Blessings~
~Joy
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I wanted to catch the ocean feel and then let it spread to the sense of being with another. One of the thirteen year olds told me it was a wonderful vision of the sea. So I kept the innocence. It is a joy when I can get the images to spin so well that they become their own spell. Thanks for dropping by. I hope your day goes well. I am exhausted and I am going to bed. Night.
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This is a good poem Tom. I liked it. You have great imagery in here. Great job. You have awesome alliteration as well.Everything else i feel, I don't know how to say.
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This was just a chance to use feelings to let the words dance or perhaps it is the other way around
Thanks for taking the time to share your thoughts and feelings with me. I appreciate it very much. Love, Tom B.
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Great job Bubba ~
Sailing upon the bedroom seas, caught in the winds of her breath....*sigh*....this is an exceptional piece which I should say......one of your best.....IMO ~
So many sites to see as I journey across vast oceans.....tides forcing their way into our hearts.....I really liked this one a lot ~
I wish you and your entry the best in this contest,
Bear ~
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thanks for letting me know it touched you and ran across your heart in the racing spread of a well splashed wave.
I had a thirteen year old who could see nothing but a wonderful vision of the ocean and knew I had written true. I am always moved by the thoughts of those who care about the weight of each word well read. Thank you again, my friend.
Love, Tom B.
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I love all the alliteration thrown in. The sea is a very romantic place to describe. Wow this is definetly a sensual peice and brilliantly put together I might add. Good luck. You have my vote.
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You know, I like to go to open mikes and read aloud whenever I can. This is written to entice and delight the listener as well as the reader. Thanks for enjoying all the sensual visions I slipped softly into this slice of a dream.
Love, Tom B.
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Playfully teased into an awakened dream...Fingers of waves caress the reader, plays upon the shores of joy. A beautiful Light of love is born!...sighs...this touches!...Thank you Master Poet for sharing your wonderful mind with me
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You are correct in sensing the playfulness. Perhaps the most vulnerable moments begin with a sense of play and joy. I am glad this spoke so freely to you.
Love, Tom B.
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Extremely well written IMHO! Second sort of seascape poem I've read in the last twenty minutes, and me without my sunblock!
Was a bit tricky to read, as it was sort of on the tongue-twister side, but I imagine that was your intent, and as it turned out the poem is a pure delight to read.
Looks like, from your comments, that you wrote this for someone dear to you. Hewed on good!
John
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I like to read my poetry at open mics when I am able to go. This one was written with that in mind so I could enhance the sensuality of it for the ear as well as the tonuge and mind.
Thanks for taking the time to share with me your pleasure in the poem.
Peace & Love, Tom B.
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Very well done.
Your words bring forth a visualization second to none.
Good luck in the contest. If you don't win, you should.
Love your writing.
Teresa
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Thanks for your vote of confidence. I strive to give the senses a language that we can hear loud enough to wish to join in with.
Love, Tom B.
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Powerful song from Pen!
Wonderful weaving of words Tom and
also alliteration
The tongue twists and turns
which brings forth many smiles
Makes the world a happier place
I must say...
what You speak in the Author's Comments....
I imagine You have brought to Light
Images stain the Mind...
Thank You for sharing Your Talent
and helping make the world
a better place to be
Best wishes to You in the contest Sweet Soul
Many blessings too
and much love~ Desire~*~
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I know her well enough to know this will spring a smile to her lips. As an artist and a guy what more wonderful gift could I share than to touch a heart with joy. Thanks for all of your kind thoughts. Love, Tom B.
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Aww. This reminded me of going to the beach. You showed great imagery. I loved it.
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I am glad that you enjoyed this and took the time to share your pleasure with me. Thank you.
~ Tom B.
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Excellent Write
Yes I very much enjoyed this write. I love the ocean and the beaches. Your increadible way with words are captivating. A very nice refreshing read for me. I enjoyed it very much, so thank you. The title Castaways is perfect than the first line with toss of froth and the last line are with the musky toss of you. Well penned again and good luck in the contest. Blessings Kelle Marie, stavykm
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I just enjoy the sensual vision. I enjoy waking up feelings, having my reader suddenly find their senses awash. I hope it did this for you. I am glad you let it touch you. Thank you for sharing your joy with me in return.
Love, Tom B.
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Sometimes i think you tease us all with the feelings you dsiplay of the sensory perception of love but then I do know you are never finished learning of it either. Love, C
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Learning it, communicating it, experiencing it. I am, perhaps, convinced that I will never capture it all perfectly. But, I like trying.
Love,Tom B.
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It's a good thing, your poetry. It's nice to be wrapped up in those feelings and sensations. I've learned a good lesson though, even when the feelings are gone there can still be love. For the feelings are the lusty part of flesh finding flesh...it is when we go beyond that to doing for others without expectation that we have found love. Totally went on a ramble with this...lol. Beautiful Tom as always.
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Love is not a feeling. Romance and sex are. They are at their best physical manifestations of love. Relationships is too broad a term. Love is a dynamic force in this universe. It is expressed in joy. It is expressed in caring. It can found in service. It can be found in parenting. But it goes beyond all that because it is the root expression of all that God does. We can tap into it, be part of it, be swept away by it. We can change the world. I have heard it expressed that love is giving, giving, giving without even waiting for the thank you. I think that is a limited view.
Love, Tom B.
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love the way this ends... "the musky toss of you" especially appeals to me...
I love your work, Mr. B.
you capture a sensuality with a soft touch that few can manage...
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I am not interested in the act, only the feelings and the sensations, the inner turned outward and wrapped in a season of joy. I guess you could say that I think we are all magicians and I only make the magic obvious.
Love, Tom B.
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Well it certainly floated my boat! Very sensual piece. Your use of metaphor outstanding, as i know exactly what you are alluding to. Alot of HEAT in this one...
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Freud would have a heyday. I tried to keep the sense of waking dream in this one. Using the room and the action to create a feeling of sensuality and titilation that pulled the reader into their erotic senses. Yes, you can experience the poem or you can analyse the meanings or both. Each person express where they come from first by their comments.
Love Tom B.
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Beautiful beach scene great imagery good usage of grammar this write is awesome good luck in your future writes will be looking forward to reading more
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I love it best when I tease, lure the senses into opening and experienceing the promise found in a few stray words. Thanks for all of your kindness. Love Tom B.
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A tasteful,sensual write with good usage of grammar and alliteration.Am slightly unsure as to "musky toss of you" wondered if you had considered instead another alliteration ie musky melding/melfluos/melting oh am rambling and not criticizing,just wondering,with two references to toss and one to tosses I noticed it but you have demonstrated to me before quite breathtakingly how what may be noticeable to the eye may work wondrously as spoken word. Especially liked the first stanza,it could stand alone.Neat.
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musky toss of you was a reflection of the first line. The chaos of the sea and bed room sheets like the froth on a dream. This reads really well. Holds the people with caught breath that I have read it to, so far. I fought with that line for a while to get it to return to the beginning. Least I think it works. I always enjoy your thoughts and insights, they make me think, look at my poem in a new light. I wanted the alliteration to advance the poem not just be a collection of words. also catch some of the sea in their vocalizations. I let the poem pivot on that and the use of hidden rhymes.
Thanks, my friend, Tom B.
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I loved the title ! It was a great one for this poem and the poem was sensational ! what do you do eat your wheaties before writing lol!
I mean its just so natural to you ..or so it seems to be!
Great and best of luck!
~Lisa~
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I got the first two lines while smoking a cigarette in the Home Depot parking lot. Repeated them over and over again to myself on the way in to my desk. Then, the rest wrote itself with a couple of customer interruptions. Came home and put it on my computer, which means I changed some lines, tightened few, paid attention to punctuation. Then I posted. Pretty normal. I have been doing this for forty one years. I need a little more practice but I am starting to get it right. Love Tom B.
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well okay , took note of pay attention to punctuation.
Pretty normal someday explain to me what normal is ? lmbo
I love your work , so take it as a compliment when i joke with you!
Love,
~Lisa~
teachers pet
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Of course, I took it as a compliment. Normal is a comparative term. I have a routine. I use it to help me support my demand for excellence. Thanks for loveing my work, that is a compliment that I always strive to be worthy of.
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I love the tease in this piece. The sea that comes, pardon this, back and forth and in and out with it's waves of passion is as good as it gets. Great work and best of luck in the contest.
Jen
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But you are right. I played with the back and forth, the rising tide, the sandy beach all these images of male and feminine passion. The bed as a sea, the body as a beach. I reversed sexuality in making the man the shore and the woman the boat. couldn't resist.
Love Tom B.
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Excellent & Suave Sensuality
This is very well writen, very tasteful and intelligent in feel and really carries a strong sensual vibe through the out the stanzas. Very nice work. -
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There is no challenge in being blatant and tasteless unless I could say something that hasn't been said before. I want to write poems that entice and involve the senses and open the mind to the dream of touch.
Thanks.
Love, Tom B.
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Wow, this is a very sensual poem..with a hint of ertic. Lovely imagery and a pleasure to read. This is a very lovely poem and bright. I like the thoughts and feelings expressed here...wonderful write.
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This was a playful adventure into a watery dream. A chance to try again the layers of images, symbols and metaphors to excite the mind and challange the feelings to become involved. Thanks for all the kind words.
Love Tom B.
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Excellent & Suave Sensuality
What a night to remember, totally awesome waves of pure pleasure in this read. I loved every metaphor giving me a most beautiful visual of a sweet night of erotica. Damn if I could hear you read this one...it rocks. You are a brillian poet Tom, and your dynamic concepts and schems wrap your readers in beautiful dreams...........novy
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It had been a while since I wrote a really sensual poem with erotic overtones. This one is tame so I didn't label it adult. It is a warm up for writing a poem for Dalaney's contest. I have to let my head expand the reach of my metaphor and symbology. This one is just fun. Thanks for thinking so much of my works. I will try to live up to it.
Love, Tom B.
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wow..this is simply wonderful..I adore the sea..you really have painted a beautiful portrait for all to see...smiles
Peace and best wishes..
~A~
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Glad you enjoyed my interplay of the ocean and dreams. Love, Tom B.
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WOW!!! Great sensual brilliance here....
I love the way you are able to use puncuation with out it getting in the way of the poetic feel.. Your style is so unique... This is my favorite one of yours that I have read so far....
Best of luck to you in the contest
Delila
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I wanted to provide something deeply sensual with a tease of the erotic for this friend. I try to keep commas to a minimum and not run on sentences unless absolutely necessary. We often forget that we get clause happy in poetry and need to tie them off with a verb and an object. This might be part of why it works so well for you. Thanks for your support and most of all your joy. Love, Tom B.
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