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Unforgettable

I looked at it for a long time
Tried to read
Between the lines
of all evident beauty.
Between it’s lovely smile
And intoxicating fragrance,
I felt a strange
Unexplainable feeling overtake me.

There was a flower
Resting on the wings of nature,
Waiting to spread its fragrance,
Waiting to be appreciated,
Waiting to spread its beauty among
Gloomy, depressed souls.
Waiting to bring a smile…

(Suddenly,
I felt a strange, unexplainable feeling overtake me.)

The poor flower
did not know its fate………


It was…



……Waiting to picked,
Waiting to be destroyed, mutilated


                                  …………Murdered.









Author notes

Nivedita Bhattacharjee

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 15 of 15
  • wendymolly
    June 5, 2008

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    It's funny how we can gain an entirely new perspective form a single word. How one word can dramaticaly alter the gravity of the situation at hand. This for me, your thoughts here? practically Genuine! And for that you are a Finalist in the contest!!!! Take care and God Bless, ~pithyAplomb


  • Ryno
    June 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I liked this. It has a nice metaphor but also reads strongly literally. The message in it is really powerful too.

    I thought it was a really witty idea, but I would've liked to see some stronger imagery on there that could've made me see this more; and when that happens it helps us to feel it more.

    Overall; this was a really good idea and I liked the idea of the piece

    Thanks for the entry


  • Puking Faerie Dust gold member
    May 31, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This was interesting and unique. It's kind of sad to think about; something so beautiful and which holds such a great sentiment can really be quite dark. I do have a few suggestions, though. The capitalization of every line is unnecessary and distracting, and there's a bit of punctuation lacking in some parts. Also, a couple of the line breaks were a bit awkward. Nonetheless, great write with a profound meaning. Thank you for entering, and good luck
    Jeanette*~


    • Nivedita
      June 3, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks for appreciating my poem!! I will surely keep your suggestions in mind. Thanks again.


  • leslielovesthomas
    November 10, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for entering and good luck!

    Leslie


  • Death of the Author
    November 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I think the first stanza is really good and then my favourite lines are:

    There was a flower
    Resting on the wings of nature,

    I like your ideas throughout this poem...and you've expressed them quite nicely.

    The poor flower
    Did not know it's fate

    Those too are sweetly written lines. Congratulations on the Gold and Honourable Mention. Thanks for entering and good luck

    Take care x

  • xTomorrowx
    November 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Wow...
    This is an excellent piece, it certainly made me think, I've never thought of picking a flower as killing it before but of course it is, when you think about it, it really is... Beautifully penned! =)
    Thanks so much for entering and good luck! =)
    Preliminary finalist =)


    • Nivedita
      November 3, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thank You !!!
      I am so happy that you liked my poem.
      Thanks again!


  • TheLostGirl
    October 30, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    wow umm i dont know what the prompt is but it must have been good. this was a very good write good luck


    • Nivedita
      November 2, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks! I am really glad you liked it. The prompt was the picture of a rose.

  • Poetryintheblood gold member
    October 26, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for your wonderfully profound entry, Josephine


  • RedwingSpirit silver member
    October 24, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Excellent poem good luck in the contest

1 - 15 of 15