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N R Ae of Phormd Po Ehms

1.

Pleasure thunders through body,
A cloak of helium-light silver,
Bubbling beneath the skin.



2.

Fire rages through veins,
Heat and sickness flare,
The hatred simmers, silent...



3.

Joy rapes darkness from my world,
Calm, it envelopes the surging evil.
The boiling realm is stilled.

Author notes

Three entirely unrelated poems, that ... I tell ya what, they felt good to write, and they aren't even personal reflections, I think. Thankyou for the contest, n thanks for takin the time to read this. Hope I got it right I love the contest and the contest page... Yay!!!!

X

(If u dont get the title, it's "An array of formed poems")

A contest entry

Opinions? Critisism? Beware, if the comments i see to bemisplaced, prepare to defend your reasoning. Many thanks.

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Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • Ted E Bare gold member
    January 29, 2008

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    Found the poems truly compelling as I found the title very creative. Even though they were not related, they flowed so well that they could have been. I want to thank you for entering my "The endless contest (or longest contest is more like it)!" contest. This will not be the last time I read your entry. At the minimum, it will be read at least once more during judging.

    Ted E


  • Amy Meneses
    October 29, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Ok so round #3 of this contest. I am digging into whether or not I believe the poem needs more. In other words, does this poem stand alone wonderfully or does it need more; does it sound complete.
    You make a very unique concept here in #3. How unusual that “joy rapes darkness” such an interesting twist here. I would loose “calm” in the second stanza as it gets a bit confusing, is calm another abstraction, is it joy, is it the rape or is it darkness? You might want to loose that an emphasize the ambiguity without having the reader question it. I loved the ending, it make everything seem finished and completed.

    Off the record, I think this flows wonderfully together as well.


  • Amy Meneses
    October 25, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    I'm sorry but I want to be fare to everyone. Would you please choose one for the contest. #1 seems best. Thank you. Email me when you do it.


  • checkmate
    October 25, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is such a beautiful piece. No other words could have done this justice! This is beautiful, flows well. And I loved every three-line poem.

    Breathtaking descriptions, especially the last piece. Simply awesome, my dear friend. One of my favorites from you. I loved the read.

    Great job! Best of luck in the contest


  • Amy Meneses
    October 24, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    I think you stuck to the form pretty well. Not so sure of the second line of the 3rd piece becuase it doesn't seem to clothe Joy. I liked #2 a lot. Thank you for your submittion. Good Luck!

1 - 7 of 7