The agent gave an odd, odd smile
accusitive and stern.
Then rumbling from his pencilneck
came words, "Why won't you learn?"
"We catch the liars and the cheats
and rarely do we fail.
Yet, you ignore this simple fact
so, I'll put you in jail."
"You claimed that your 'tarpaper-shack'
a wife and child called home.
Yet, I come to your penthouse flat
to find you live alone."
"Aside from having one strange fish
and goat you keep as pets.
This is as upscale batchelor
and ritzy as it gets."
I gave a little knowing smile
and left a pregnant pause.
"You shouldn't judge so quick."
I said, "Until you know the cause."
"Sir auditor, I humbly beg
you think on what I did.
I have no pets, you've only met
my alewife and my kid."
"The look of my modest abode
is well explained away.
For years I've been remodeling
just finished yesterday."
He gave me a disgusting grin
looked at his notes and said.
"Then I'll turn my attention to
your piles of cash instead."
"For many years you have reported
you are very poor.
Yet, I have witnessed piles of cash
behind a bolted door."
"Oh, THAT!" I said, "Can be explained
away my wise, wise friend.
It is my bill collection and is
nothing I would spend."
A medical condition I have
makes me very ill
if I don't wipe my buttocks with
a hundred-dollar bill."
"Tis much more soothing than you know,
a joyous thing to do.
Sir, you should try it! Let me fill
a grocery bag for you."
He looked stunned for a moment then he
grinned form ear to ear.
"There obviously isn't any
misreporting here."
So, as he left, his bag in hand,
this thought upon me fell.
Things are quite fine in wonderland
and our system works swell.
Bronze trophy winner
Silver trophy winner
Honorable mention
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