Dear Mum
I know you are disappointed in me .
I know that every moment I'm awake i am a disgrace.
I let you down .
I drive you mad.
I hurt you in so many ways .
I understand now , why we have arguments ,
I understand now , why i see hate in your eyes .
But don't you love me , for those mistakes ,
Don't you love me , for those arguments that make us stronger .
I'm sorry for everything that i have caused you ,
I am sorry that i let you down ,
I'm sorry i had to make you choose between a life with him and a life with me where your free.
I'm sorry for making your life unhappy .
I'm sorry for all the things that I'm sorry for .
I wish i wasn't here to make your life a misery .
If i could change the world , or the way we live today i would and i would make me not born .
I would love to make you happy , to see that smile on your face the way it used to be when he was better .
I would love to make you happy , the way you cry happy cries when you see a picture of the past and see him in peace.
I would love to make you happy , Just in the little things i did back then .
I would love to hear , "i am so proud of you " and it actually be meant that way.
I'm sorry for getting you away from him .
Making sure you were hurting anymore .
Making sure you were not scared at night .
Making sure you were not scared i would hear you to yelling at night .
I know that we have been though alot mum , And i wish we didn't have to go through it .
But we have and we have come out smiling .
Even though you may not see it now , and we may have arguments and yell at each other .
I still love you and i am happy we are together away from the worry of what will happen the next day .
I hope you understand mum , I don't mean to hurt you , But i need to get this off my chest , Away from my thoughts.
I know you may never see this or read this , but now that its here not in my head i feel like i have let you read it .
I love you mum ,
Always will .
Your daughter
Zoe Reardon
Author notes
this is very personal to me . i have been feeling this for a while now . and i cant tell my mum . im sorry to have to tell everyone out here it , but i hope you like it and any comments or messages of help to me or something , so i know i dont feel like the only one would help .
What did you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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Don't be sorry to have to tell people here. That's what we're all here for. We're here for support. And you can tell us anything at anytime and know that somebody will be here for you.
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Zoe, I think most of us have felt inadequate in the eyes of our mother - I know I have. But you will come through it knowing that you are a worthy recipient of her love. The love you have for her comes through so strongly, as does the need for her approval. Being a mum now myself, everything comes full circle, and you realise a lot about life. Good luck with everything, Stephy x
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awww... amazing...loved it ..keep it up xx
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great poem
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well i know ur mother would love this poem. its very strong of u to write something so personal. its nice to see someone caring about who they hurt very goodd write please check out mine and comment.okii bi bi x
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I thought this was a really good poem, I like how you wrote this and used your feelings and put it on ap.
unforunetly alot of other people have the same problem and they can't tell their mom about it.In a way I was adopted, if you count being switched at birth being adopted. I loved the poem and I love you let it all out in this poem, I like how you let it flow.
Keep up the good work. -
Wow
I can relate to this 100% I am sorry you feel this way but I always think it's better to get things out of your head and down on paper or what have you....This is very intense and heartfelt. I can feel your pain because I have been there. I love this piece. You have alot of strength to put something that personal down here for everyone to see. Good luck to you and all you do. Thanks for sharing.
Jenn
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Good Day to you Zoe.
You have put so much love and emotion into your poem for your mum. I wouyld let her read it. I know she would cry and grab you to hug and tell you she loves you too. I will keep both of you in my prayers.You have a great day. Love you, Grammy 
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Extreamly intense and heartfelt..
You have taken the first step to healing. It helps so much to get these feel ings out and by putting them on paper you can look at them and then someday be able to discard the bad memories and put them behind you. You have not been the only one in the position that you describe and won't be the last. When you feel the time is right between you and your mother I am sure she would like to read this. There are no relationships that are all joy, but on the other hand not all sad either and you seem to have a handle on just what is happening in your life. My wish for you is that you would have more faith in yourself and not feel so bereft of love. You don't have to ever be sorry to express yourself you have as much right as everyone else. May God bless you and always keep you in His care. I'll be praying for you.
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sad
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