You’re useless to me, and I can’t stand the sight of your face. You’re a cancerous rotting plague twisting your tentacles into the world, breaking the foundation of my mind and corrupting my will. I can’t let you press those needy, diseased fingers into my soul one more time. You’re a deadly cocktail of hatred, seething putrefied flesh; you’re blight on my heart and I’m draining away the blood you’ve infected with your sickness. You’re not the kind of person I want to be, a drug infested alcohol induced bitch that thinks the sun shines out of your ass; that’s not who I am. I’m destined for my own ideals, my own greatness, and I demand that you remove your nails from my skin. If you were real, you would be gone by now, but you live in my head, a darkness that needs expunging, a deep sickening stench wafting into my nostrils constantly, my own body rotting around my bones. My mentality is in question, but I’ve stretched beyond the bounds of the normal, I’m twisted, entwined in the darkness that breaks the light across the silence. Your death is at my hands tonight, and through it, I shall win.
Author notes
this is my own style, take that into consideration plz.
- Girl Interrupted group list • next in list
A contest entry
- Emotion Sickness: Lost in the Currents by PerfectImperfection.
600 points, ended November 4, 2007, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
tell me what you think of my work with a comment
Comments
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I’m twisted, entwined in the darkness that breaks the light across the silence. Your death is at my hands tonight, and through it, I shall win.
Changing from your to my within the last few lines demands that those reading read again to understand fully the mental anguish inside of your writing.
The title is a great lead into your style of writing and i commend you to all .
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OOza! Nice! I like that you were able to restate the same ideas without repeating words and phrases. It's a good style you have going there, as well. No uber run-on, or obscen comma splices.
Chock-full of great emotion- again, great write!
Burmina
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Very intense, very strong, lots of wild vivid images.
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wao!this was very powerful!
"but you live in my head, a darkness that needs expunging, a deep sickening stench wafting into my nostrils constantly, my own body rotting around my bones."...these words are simply bursting with despair and emotional energy!well done indeed!bravo! -
The ravages of a relationship failed..
Realisation that, when someone tries to run your life, you lose your self..
Or..
Just growing out of a wild past..
You are not alone, my dear...
I likek your style, straight from your heart, speaking your mind, blunt, yet precise..
I like
All my Love n Hugz n All that Jazz XX Ev
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Damn. A very powerful piece you have penned here! Intense and filled with such a poignant sort of anger/determination. Thank you for your entry & Best wishes in the contest!
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whoa!
scary shit there babe!
Great work too
♥ Ur sister
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