The fiery flames that lick my soul
Prevent my heart from feeling whole
The icy air that freezes breath
Stops my heart and welcomes death
As hollow winds sting my cheeks
Persistent tears form frosty streaks
I’m frozen deep down to the bone
Fearful of what is unknown
I’m slowly breaking up inside
Torn with whatever I decide
Resonating pain within
Proves there’s nothing left to win
There’s loss no matter what I choose
I’ll hurt like hell from what I’ll lose
I am faced with this unjust decision
The outcome to which I can’t envision
Author notes
I don't know how I'll make it through this.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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First and foremost from another soul who knows well your pain I offer this sincere hug of compassion. It hurts so badly I know. Each and everyday is a tug of war within yourself and of course that deep void never seems to fill.
You express it well here. Perhaps even too well as I sit here and deal with such a tearing in my own heart. I know not what else to say other than it strikes so deeply true that it is painful. This is true poetry. You deserve a
here and not just any rose but one that has had its thorns hand picked and discarded. When dealing with such a pain it is the little things that help most. Little things such as that and such as the compassion you have shown me in this heart break of my own. I sincerely thank you.
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"There’s loss no matter what I choose
I’ll hurt like hell from what I’ll lose"
I pick these two lines as my favorite...but I'm not sure why cause I love the whole thing
Powerful and moving
Dark and real
To feel and express these feelings is really a beautiful thing
"I’m slowly breaking up inside
Torn with whatever I decide"
I relate to this so much
And thank you for relating to me
keep them comin!
Much Love!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Wow, thank you so much. I haven't had a comment on a poem for a long time now. I'm working on a project for my creative writing class where I must compose at least 10 poems to present to the class and be critiqued on. I might steal a few previous poems I've written.
Anyway, thank you for your comment, it is much appreciated.
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As long as you don't disappear (like I wanted to during my ordeal), I'll be right here for you, Mother. Love hurts...you and I know this well, but, and I don't know how, we'll get through this. I'm not ever sure how, but we will. The one I told you about mentioned marrying his darling next year. If I can handle that, I'll be right by your side, guiding you the whole way.
I ♥ you,
Kaye -
you'll be saying the same thing after you make it through it too...
For years, decades actually..."I don't know how I ever made it through...."
Your first two lines really draw the reader in. I read them a few times in fact before continuing on. You have some strong visuals as well, it helped "feel" your poem both emotionally and physically.
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this is one of the most emotion filled poems i have read in a while... the honesty of making a decision that so many understand... even though it seems that you are alone when your decision faces you... but you aren't.
i liked all of the couplets so i really can't pick a stanza i prefer... each has its own sting that tears my heart open...
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