I'm Gonna Make It

My mind is running away,
but my legs are going nowhere.
Turning to you,
but you don't care.
Unfair judgment
build onto my discontent
to an extent
that would blow your mind.
Give me a sign,
is the torture almost over?
Cruel and unusual.
Amusing. Abusing
my heart.
Tear it apart.
How cliche,
but what else can I say
other than
I'M TIRED OF IT!
I won't quit
because I believe there's
more to life than this
ignorance.
I believe bliss
goes much further than that.
I'm not your slave
and I'm not your trash can.
Get this crap out of me.
Understand that I'm gonna
be what I am
and there's nothing you can do about it.
THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT.
Take that.
Chit chat
by yourself
or somebody else
because I'm not here
to hear
nonsense!
No offense, but
the hypocrite
isn't very appealing.
Especially when he's
killing me inside.
Did you know you tear
me apart inside?
I try to hide
but you always find me.
Run away in my head,
smile and nod.
Running to God
when you slice deep.
And when I block it all,
it seems to seep through.
How do you do
that like it's so easy?
I was just trying to make
you proud of me.
But now I see
that all I'm really doing
is giving you another reason
to tear me down.
Clown. Dress me up and
I smile for you;
blow up balloons for you.
POP! Your needle is sharp.
And the strings to this harp
are growing weak.
They play a melody
that's ever so quiet
ever so q u i e t.
Though you wouldn't know it.
Your ears aren't fit
for hearing.
But your eyes are
peering inside;
tearing down everything
that I tried
to do
to make you
smile at me.
I wish you'd smile at me.
But I'm so tired of fighting
for you
when you're shooting me.
Recruiting lies, compromise,
and despising me
for everything I'm trying to be.
I'm working hard,
and I'm guarding
myself from you.
I'm ready to run away from you.
You make me weak
and cut me before I speak
A N Y T H I N G.
Would there be any point?
Stripping down my words
and I'm left with nods and smiles.
I'm not sure where I'm going down this road,
but I do know
that you won't stop me
and I'm going to make it there from this,
where ever it is.