"golden words flew past you
as i sang my fruitless song."
how charming a man so naive
comes to sing this song of joy.
so tireless his effort that
times takes its pity
upon him.
"glimpses for a connection
sets my heart's pace."
but imagination sets
its limitations for
even the biggest
of dreamers.
"beauty, this may be
my only chance!"
if only he knew,
no one could wake
her slumber.
"i shed not a tear,
for i know she cares not.."
maybe her impossibility
drives him.
"goodbye my hopeless love,
i know now:
no one could love me."
A contest entry
- cookies and cream ice cream (for you) by u took my user name.
650 points, ended November 22, 2007, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
-
AlbaSoul amuses me. Pitiful fool.
I love this one, man. those first two stanzas are like, amazing at hooking people in.

-
"glimpses for a connection
sets my heart's pace."
but imagination sets
its limitations for
even the biggest
of dreamers.
WELL WRITTEN

-
interesting spin off of sleeping beauty (i doubt that it was intended but its how it seems). once i read your comment about the character and narrator it made sense. . . but just a question; what happens in when he sees her? it just kinda skips that. idk just an idea
-
-
he tries to wake her with his song. he figures it's useless, and comes to his realization.
-
-
ok.... WHAT THE HELL
1. read the damn rules and what contest is about
2. have respect for the contest
3. i asked for non emo "no one could love me" bull
i want something slightly happier
but hey, since you did post it... i might as well tell you what i think of the poem so you can delete my comment later:
why the quotation marks? am i missing something?
the poem didn't manage to grab my devoted attention. sorry
-
-
i did read your rules. i heard nothing of this "emo" thing. as well, this is not an emo thing, but a sad realization. you said write of a story of love.
the poem is dialog from the main character, while non quoted is narrator.
-
1 - 6 of 6



