She slips with unapproachable grace into the opaque midnight sea.
With her spear in hand she swims blindly.
Gliding confidently through the seaweed netted water,
She goes on a vicious date – one without quarter.
Carefully she chooses her location;
At the place where she knows that it will come.
With unthinking indifference she sets the trap.
The deed… It will soon be done.
In the dark her prey knows only instincts.
It is unsuspecting but feels that something is wrong.
The water has altered from what it used to be;
It’s not as caressing… not nearly as warm.
Ignoring the signs it swims on nonetheless –
it knows her tactics, but its defenses are worthless.
With inconsiderate silence, her point penetrates its chest;
She hews completely, bone and muscle through.
The confused angelfish, leisurely, is carved into two.
One side stares blankly back at the world it pursued,
the other became hidden from sight… unglued.
The trusting angelfish… It slowly becomes no more.
It too now glides with unapproachable grace...
diminishing toward the littered ocean floor.
A contest entry
- Make me understand by Misfitdepressive.
900 points, ended November 17, 2007, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - For Poets With No Trophys- Prewrites Allowed. by Mercury Rising.
550 points, ended December 17, 2007, 7 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - + I'll Never Stop Loving You + by ThatONEweirdChick.
900 points, ended December 31, 2007, 97 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give Me Your Best! by Celticmoon.
450 points, ended January 14, 2008, 56 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Pre-write party. by Naridill.
300 points, ended January 13, 2008, 48 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - You're a heartbreaker by flyingphoenix.
475 points, ended June 11, 2008, 70 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Any comments would be appreciated...
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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i enjoyed the flow to this poem, along with the rhyming. A very original poem, with some great imagery.
thanks for entering and good luck!
sunny
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Congrats on previous bronze. I can see the aspects that lead to it, nicely penned indeed.
Thanks for entering.
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Your imagery and verbaige both are wonderful, fresh and unique. It truly added to the message within and beyond the piece itself. Thank you for entering. Best of luck to you!
Blessings
Bel
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so the flow and the words stood out very much to me in this one! great poem and i wish you good luck in my twin's contest.
~Dommi
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Your imagery is quite striking and your poetic talent is unmistakable. I really enjoyed reading this wonderful piece, and I wish you the best of luck in my contest.
David
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Thank you very much for your comment and for the applause!
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This is a well written piece, although I did not understand what it was about until towards the end. Please put which option you are entering under in your author notes. - MidnightRain
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spectacular imagery
Your very talented, the imagery i read here is specatular. I can't even say a way to improve it. it was perfect enjoyable poetry. well done xx semoga berjaya- may you succeed -
Welcome to Allpoetry!
I admire the innovative and imaginative talent that I see busy at work here. It's always a pleasure to view firsthand the productive formulation of another's thought processes put into work. I appreciate the opportunity to savor your work here at Allpoetry. Welcome aboard! I encourage you to wander around and become familiar with all the wonderful features we have here. There are also many writing groups and contests and even online classes that you can become a part of here. If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to contact any greeter online!
♥ Touchof1der
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