You're not my parents
No you're not
You wouldn't believe
How much I've fought
Parents usually wouldn't commit suicide
Though for their kids, they would die
They don't threaten their kids about money and jail
They don't say to us, "Kids, to us, do hail."
Parents give all the love that they have
I can see that you're not my step-mom or dad
They don't say "Your mother truthfully stinks."
They don't give rude comments or tell ugly things
They gift us with talents that are not at all bad
And when they do not we get lonely and sad
You say we have to push back all the bad things
But with you it's impossible, your words only sting
You cannot be my parents-- Parents don't lie,
They don't need to creepily pass on by,
They don't say every second they're going to sigh,
And to you now I'm saying
My Final Goodbye
Author notes
What do ya think??? Hehe... this is obviously about my step mom and (real) dad...
Huh. Well you can probably tell I don't like them very much.
Lol.
A contest entry
- oogaboogashoogalooga...this is serious by Starlette.
525 points, ended December 7, 2007, 150 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Dark and Suspensful by God is my reality.
1400 points, ended February 23, 2008, 29 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
what do you think?????
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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idk, i'm not sure if i like it very much. I think the rhyme scheme is off, or something. It just throws me off and is really hard to read the content. You did a good job expressing your feelings though
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great write so sad but ......
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its good to get your emotions out however from a poetry point of view I didnt see much poetic about the whole piece. welll take care and the writting will come with practice and time
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Bittersweet
There is so much feeling in this poem, and a lot of pain and bitterness. I loved the use of words, there was so much flow, and each line just led you into the next, keeping the flow going. I was suprised when I read you're only 11! It's really good. I loathed my parents when I was 11, but i'm on really good terms with them now. The only awkward area I noticed in the poem was the last line of the second verse, but it was only a slight one.
Good luck in the contest, hope things get better, keep up the brilliant writing,
Shining eyes.
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Very Deep!
"You say we have to push back all the bad things
But with you it's impossible, your words only sting
You cannot be my parents-- Parents don't lie,
They don't need to creepily pass on by,"
You have some very good writes. This is a very talented poem you have put so much feeling into it. I have written many a poem like this if you look I had a lot of troubles and pains with my parents. Much respect for you telling us all how you feel.
Much love,
~Kimber
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wow. this is really good. I like how you wrote it with such emotion! just wow! it's very wonderfully written!!! keep up your amazing work! Good luck in the contest!!!
Crimson
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It is so good that you are able to let your feelings out. I know what you mean about not believing they can be your parents..I used to feel the same way about mine. Incredible how some parents can be. Just take care of yourself.
Soulful Woman
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